Capturing You

Chapter 28: New Stakes

      I felt a thumb reach over and wipe my cheek, and only then had I realized I'd been crying as I retold the story of that summer. A light breeze blew past my neck and I shuddered. Back to reality, I glanced over and saw Joe, reaching my hand over as if to verify what I'd always known — that he was there — and feeling immediately warm inside. "Jeez, I'm sorry," I said.

"What are you sorry for?" He asked gently.

"I didn't think telling that story would get me so emotional," I snickered.

"I think you're a lot more sensitive than you let on, Ave," he told me, giving me a reassuring smile.

"Maybe I am, but don't call me out for it," I said, chuckling.

"Oh, stop it. There's nothing wrong with telling people what's going on in your mind, like your thoughts or memories that are important to you," he said. "You don't always talk about your mom. So I'm glad you did."

I thinned my lips. "Thanks, Joe."

     There were so many things I was a closed book about, and yet Joe always made me feel like he was eager to keep reading on. He never pressured me to tell him anything I wasn't comfortable sharing, yet in doing that, he made me want to reach out for him. They say your partner should make you a better person or be the better half of you, and I thought that was silly; in a relationship, I should be the best version of myself. But what I'd realized throughout my early months with Joe was that who I thought I was — this "best" version of me — was merely a scratch on the surface of everything I'd unknowingly buried underneath. He encouraged me to show myself. And I hoped that I'd done the same for him.

     This particular Tuesday, we'd been looking out at the sunset at our favorite park in Cincinnati, our most common getaway after a long day working at headquarters. It was the mid-July, my favorite time of the year. We were two weeks away from the beginning of preseason, which meant Joe was juggling press days and mandatory camps; if he wasn't getting pulled one way, he was certainly getting dragged the other. After a good, long summer of us growing closer, admittedly it felt like a bit of a change, but it wasn't like I didn't expect it. And I had fully braced myself for it — football was Joe's life and I was secure enough to still feel like a priority to him.

Plus, we worked for the same place. It was a privilege that made things easier.

     This past summer with Joe flashed by and burned bright. We made a scrapbook of memories I would never forget, and I often asked myself what things would be like — the kind of person I would be — if it hadn't been for these dog days.

     We had come into our relationship with the goal that work would always be first for us. It was a good way to keep ourselves focused, especially at the beginning, with the brief paparazzi fiasco I'd had out at lunch. Joe didn't want to, but he established over Twitter that I was, in fact, his new girlfriend, and politely asked the media to give us our privacy. Social media burst into flames, of course, both from sheer happiness for both of us and a little bit of jealousy from girls who were fans of his. I never paid much attention to social media anyway, so none of it bothered me.

      The new pairs of eyes on me were quick for me to adjust to, especially early on. We were set on focusing on work and, under Elena's watch, I couldn't let myself get too distracted. But after a few weeks of that, Joe and I talked one night about how much we missed each other every now and then and how we should treat our relationship just like any other couple does, dedicating time for each other in our schedules. Neither of us saw ourselves as clingy people, necessarily — but it sure felt good to start accepting ourselves to want each other, not just need each other.