Heroic

Chapter 3 Mission Days

"Bryan, we got missionaries comming in hot from your flank, there's a factory a couple miles up the road you can hide in. If you book it, you can make it!"
"I got your back hermano, run!" I heard Sledge assure his brother in a breathy, hoarse voice. I bite my lip nervously, and leaned forward in my chair. My heart was racing a million miles a second, concerns clouding my thoughts. I scanned his vitals, which weren't in the best condition. His pulse was ecstatic, and he was loosing blood.
"Bryan, status!" I barked. Through his speaker, I could hear his ragged breathing, and his feet pounding against the wet tar. "Do you still have your weapon?" Silence. There was a loud bang from Lylee's end, and Sledge yelled something that was inaudible to my ears. Sledge could hold his own, and no-one could touch Lylee where she was.
"Bryan!" Silence. The pounding in my chest grew louder, Sledge's screams became muffled. Nothing but the sound of the roaring blood in my ears could be heard.
"BRYAN ANSWER ME!" There was a loud crackle from my headset, followed by a deafening scream. Bryan's scream.
"No!"

"C.C.! C.C.! Hermano, wake up!" I opened my eyes, my body burning with a fire set ablaze in my blood. It coursed through my veins, and carried with it panic and fear. Cold hands grasped at my arms, and gripped them tightly. Fear set in, and I let out a scream, struggling against the icy grasp.
"Bryan, what's going on?" More voices. The fear prickled across my skin. I let out a loud scream, as a bright light came on over my head. My brain kept making attempts to process what was happening. Loud voices, bright lights, cold hands. The Lab.
"NO! Noo! I won't, I won't do it, leave me alone, leave me alone!" My shrill scream pierced through the voices clouding my head. Surrounding me, smothering me, suffocating me... I felt cold, and alone. I felt exposed laying here under the burning, degrading gazes of these people. Then I was warm. There were arms wrapped protectively around me. Tears streamed down my face, my muffled cries getting caught in the thin fabric of a broad shoulder set. I blinked, my screams caught in my throat. I choked on them, my heart puttering to a short pulse.
"It's okay hermano, I'm here, I'm here," my lungs screamed, and burned. They begged for air. I felt a gentle rubbing on my back, and I wrapped my arms around the warm body, and nuzzled into the crook if his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him.
"It's okay, you're alright," he whispered. His thick spanish accent floated from lips, and slowed my pulsing heart. I m safe, I'm okay.
"You're safe now, nothing can hurt you," I opened my eyes, and squinted in the bright light of... my office? The tear stains lining my cheek cracked, and left my eyes stinging. I felt sick. Deathly sick. My throat was dry, and hoarse from screaming. The warm body withdrew, and there were arms around my shoulders. I blinked, and rubbed my eyes.
"What was that? Estás bien?" I shook my head, barely catching what the man was saying. Estás bien? That's spanish...
"B-Bryan? Bryan I, you-"
"C.C., you scared me witless! I think, I think you were having a nightmare," he explained, his eyes clouded with worry. I sniffed, and reached up, my arm covered with an XXL sweater thats sleeves hung well over my arms.
"I'm... I'm s-sorry Bryan, Ly-Lylee, I just... I'm so sorry. Here, I'll, umm, help uuh," Bryan rose an eyebrow as I lazily pulled my hair back into a low ponytail. I held my arms out in front of me, and looked around the room with half lidded eyes. I'm in my office, on my futon, having a nightmare. I must have fallen asleep. I stood, and felt my knees wobble benath me. I faltered, and felt arms under my own holding me up. I brushed him aside, and began to pace around the room.
"You were l-leaving r-right?" Bryan made a gesture with his hand, and gave me a look. He was clearly expressing his dislike for how I was coping with the situation.
"I believe Lylee was leaving, me on the other hand, I'm staying here, with you." He affirmed. I gulped, and turned to face him my arms visibly shaking.
"Th-that wont b-be n-nec-cessary. I-I'm fin-"
"C.C.! You are not okay!! You just practically killed yourself from resisting something that wasn't there whatever it may have been! You were just screaming at the top of your lungs for someone to help you! C.C., come ON, don't be stupid!" I sighed, and caught my head in my hand, callapsing in my desk chair.
"What about Sledge? Who will see to him?" Lylee raised het hand, unfolding herself from her tightly knit ball in the corner if he room.
"Do you always have nightmares?" Lylee scoffed.
"That wasn't a nighMARE, that was a nightTERROR," she explained. "What? He practically put you and himself in a hospital! Oh, C.C.," she gasped, and pointed at my arm. I was syddenly jolted awake as I lifted my arm up to my eyes. upon inspection, I saw a dark bruise forming around my arms, and a blueish ring spiralling my bicep.
"Your arms... Bryan!" He threw his hands up in defeat, letting out a loud groan.
"Que no era mi intencíon!" Lylee looked at me with doubtful eyes, and glared over at Bryan. I sighed, and rubbed my weary eyes in my palms. My heart continued to pound in my chest. Boom, boom, BOOM.
"Please, go home, I have work," I explained. I had hoped that my wants and my fears didn't show through my voice. Bryan snapped his attention over to me.
"No. C.C., you KNOW how I feel about my family, and-"
"Bryan, for the last time, you do NOT have to think of me like that! I am just your colleague, I work with you, and for you in some cases. Just leave it!" Bryan rose from where he sat on the futon, the anger simmering in his eyes.
"I will not! Your health as my colleague is just as important as your haalth as my brother! We may bot be bound by blood or law but by the gods you had better hope that your still my kid brother! Your like Johnny, and I'm freakin' Dally!" I couldn't help but laugh that he was bringing in a novel as old as The Outsiders into this. It make me laugh.
"Well to bad for you, that we aren't greasers! Bryan, I had one nightmare! ONE! One out of the thousands that I've had! One out of the thousands, or MILLIONS of nightmares that this world has had! I'm fine, so DROP IT!" I roared. I hadn't meant for it to come out the way it did. It just tumbled out, and there was no stopping it. Bryan growled, and ground his teeth with a petrifying glare
"Why do you even bother!?" I asked. "Tell me, why!?"
"Because I care! Okay, I care! It's a crime, arrest me now! Look," he sighed, and ran a hand over his face. "I'm just, trying, to help you. So please, let me help you." Lylee shrank father in to the corner. I shook my head.
"I can't... I won't allow it. I'm sorry for any trouble I may have caused. Good night Bryan." And with that, I turned my back to him, sliding my headset over my ears, blocking any sound that would have escaped his lips. I bite my cheek as I heard the door close through my headset. I closed my eyes which stung and burned. My eyelids stuck together from being opened for too long. I toon off my headset, resting it ariund my neck. Linking my arms behind my head, I leaned back in my chair, and sighed.
"God, your such an idiot C.C.," I muttered.
"Yes. Yes you are," my heart leapt out if my chest, and I felt my enitre body tense up by the deep spanish voice.
"Dammit Bryan! I told you to LEAVE!" I roared, getting up from my seat, turned to face him. But when I saw his face, all my anger disappeared. It was replaced by confusion, and sheer sympathy. His eyes swam with concerns, and his face clearly had "this is my sad face, feel ashamed for what you have conflicted upon me" written all over it. I felt my lip begin to tremble, so I bite it in an attempt to to hid le my conflicting emotions.
"C.C., I DO care about you, and I've heard you mumble some concerning things in your sleep before, but this, this is just madness C.C.!" He stepped forward, and I took a step back even though I knew I wasn't threatened, it was a tactic I developed when...
"C.C., just humor my mother hen complex, and just let me stay here for the night," I shook my head, beginning to feel annoyed about his persistence.
"I told you, no Bryan. I'm not gonna go back to sleep anyway." He gave me an angry look. Oh god.
"Do you even sleep?" I swallowed. Telling people about my lifestyle wasn't exactly my thing. I hated it because people were always so judgmental. I guess it's just beacause of our society is obsessed with people having labels. I shook my head, and sighed.
"Look, if you'll shut up about it, make yourself comfortable over there," I pointed a finger at the futon and turned around to my computer again. There was a small creak on my left side, which meant that Bryan had done as I had suggested. He cleared his throat. I tapped my keyboard. The funton creaked, and I readjusted my headset. I heard a small rustling behind me, and I shifted uncomfortably. This was a bad idea...
"C.C.?" Bryan asked, his voice soft, and gentle. A really bad idea. I swallowed harshly, and mounted my headset on my neck, turning my body around to face him where he sat in the darkness of my office. I forced a small noise from my throat, and smiled weakly.
"I m not gonna ask about your lifestyle or anything, I was just wondering if any of you clothes would fit me?" I stared at him in shock. Wh-... wait what? I swallowed, and stood from my desk gently placing my headset down by my mouse. He smiled feverishly and quickly stared down at his hands as I crossed the room to meet him where he stood.
"Sí señor," he smiled, and looked up at me with tired eyes. I reached out my hand to help him up, which he graciously accepted taking it in a firm grip. I lead him to my washer and dryer where most of my clothing lay neatly stacked in a plastic hamper by the dryer. I bent down, sifting through the piles of clothes, looking for my bigger pyjamas. Behind me I heard Bryan shift, obviously waiting for me. Hopefully he's not waiting impatiently... I sighed, and then pulled out the one of my bigger sweaters to compare to Bryan's broad muscular torso. He's gonna have to deal with having my number rank on his chest for tonight. I bite my lip thoughtfully, and nodded, thinking that it could work. Bryan stood there quietly. I rummaged through the basket again, trying to find a pair of pants, or shorts. When a large pair of dark green flanels slipped over my hand, I snatched it up and pulled it out of the basket. I examined the plaid patterened pants, and glanced down at his long, slender legs. Dear god, this is hard...
"Try these on. Congrats 6, your gonna be a 3 for one whole night," Bryan cocked a dark eyebrow at me, and let out a small amused snort. He accepted the clothing, and dissapeared off to the bathroom, leaving me in the bright white light of the wash room. Thoughts of what could go wrong tonight washed over me, and flodded my head with worry, and knotted my stomach with anxiety. What if he doesn't sleep tonight because of the computer light? We have a mission tomorrow, and if he doesn't get enough sleep, he could pose as a faulty frontliner, he could collapse on the field, he could keel over with exhaustion and get fired! What if he vocally expresses his discomfort about the computer light!? Then I'll HAVE to turn it off, and then I'll fall asleep and only god knows that whenever I go to sleep those damn nightmares will comeback! I'll start screaming again, and Bryan's gonna help me because he is that kind of guy, and then he'll get "concerned" again, and then he'll find out... My breathing shortened, and came in ragged gasps. My heart began to race, my fingers clasped together, nails digging into my palms. Why am I getting so worked up over this!? It's just Bryan for the love of god!
"Hey, C.C., yea the sweater fits, the pants are a little short, but they'll do. Thanks man, I- C.C.?" Bryan's voice snapped me out of my mini panic attack, and I released my fingers stretching them experimentally. He quietly knelt by my side, and laid an arm across my shoulders.
"C.C., you're scaring me..." I cleared my throat a brisk cough, and smiled.
"What do you mean? I'm perfectly normal! Not a hair on my head disturbed," I explained quickly. The words left my mouth too quickly to me to understand them myself. They were rushed. I was lying. I hated lying, especially to a commanding officer, it makes me feel wrong inside. My heart skips a couple beats, and my breathing becomes labored. Bryan looked at me doubtedly. I swallowed. Damn.
"C.C., you know the consequences of lying to a commanding officer, you-"
"You are faced with treason against the state, and can be stripped of your title as an S.A.," I droned. "Yes, Bryan, I know," I'm beginning to feel I've been through this before... Oh wait, I HAVE. I sighed, and shook my head.
"Bryan, that code only applies when I'm withholding vital information. DANGEROUS information," I explained, shaking his firm grip off my shoulder. He huffed, a disgruntled, angered look on his face. I swallowed, the nervous feeling in my stomach beginning to grow.
"C.C., that information is just as important to ME, as it is any dangerous information! C.C., we're your new family now! And keeping secrets from your family is NOT a good idea!" I felt anger replace my nervous, anxious feeling. It began to bubble, like a pot of water set to boil. It would start with small, simple bubbles, then slowly progress as the heat rose.
"When did I ask to become a part of this wacko, crazy fun house!? Tell me, exactly when did you decide to "adopt" me!?" His eyes sparked alive with a burning fire. He's angry. Good.
"When you walked into that building, and applied for a job! Squads have to be close, close like family, because families protect eachother!" Warm.
"What makes you think I NEED a family!? I can do just fine on my own!" He growled at me, and abruptly rose to his feet. Warmer.
"C.C., that doesn't matter! We have to stay close to watch out for eachother, we have to-" Hot.
"I DON'T CARE BRYAN! NOT A SINGLE FUCK GIVEN!" Hotter.
"C.C., please listen to me, we care about you, I care about you, alot, and I don't know anything about your past, and it's non of my business, but whatever happened, the longer you keep it a secret, the more it's eating you inside. Talk to u-" Scalding.
"I'M NOT CRAZY! I DON'T NEED HELP, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Boiling. I felt the warm salty tears sting my eyes, and roll down my cheeks. Why am I crying? Why am I so weak?
"C.C., I never said you were crazy, I just," he paused, his pain and sadness dousing the raging flames in his eyes. "I just suggested that you talk to me." I stood there, the tears streaming down my face. (A/N Tears stream, down your face, T.T ;3 lol)
"Bryan, no. I can't just get up, and forget, I'm not... adaptive, like you guys are," My head was buried in my palms, my eyes tightly shut. I heard a quiet chuckle, and alowly lifted my head out of my palms. I felt a hand come down on my head. It pat my head gently, then traveled down to wipe away the warm tears that smeared my face.
"God. Your somethin', you know? All this fighting, just because you're guarding yourself from something that's long gone," I wiped my eyes, and gave a small chuckle.
"It's not just that... I've slipping in and out of a depression for a while, and everyone at HQ coddles me, so I just got paranoid that that would happen here. I'm not used to family, or someone thats kind, so when it came crashing down,"
"You got scared." Bryan finished. I nodded, and wiped my face with the sleeve of my hoodie. I drew a shaky breath.
"I'm sorry I overreacted Captain, I didn't mean to raise my voice." He let out a low grumble and threw his hands in the air in a helpless gesture.
"And back to formalities, kid, what is wrong with you?" I mocked pain, placing a hand over my collar bones and staring at him with hurt eyes.
"Thats rude! You should never start a conversation in such a matter," he laughed, all tension and hatred gone from the air around us. All was good. I smiled, slipping my hand from my chest into the large roomy pouch that rested above my stomach. I nodded my head towards the door
"C'mon, I got a report the General wants by tomorrow." He nodded, and reached a hand up to his head, scratching thoughtfully as he began his trail behind me towards the stairs. "Besides, big day tomorrow. The mission is a simple one, but you still need sleep," I reached up towards the railing but stopped short when I felt a firm hand on my shoulder.
"Being depressed doesn't mean your weak. It just means that you've been strong for far too long." He dashed past me, and disappeared up the stairs. I stood there, thinking about what he had just whispered to me. It just means that you've been strong for far too long. I smiled, and shook my head, quickly climbing up the stairs up to my office. Yep, I hate him. Though the smile playing on my lips told a different story. He's the worst...

Pbbbbt! Hi guys! I'm sorry if the grammar is terrible and the words are repetitive, I suck at that crap. Anyway, back at the Authors Note, the A/N, there's a song reference there if anyone can catch it! Whoever does gets a cookie! :D lol anyways sorry for the lengthy, crappy dramatic chapter. ... bye. Oh, and don't forget to Carry On my Wayward Readers! Much love,
~May