ʟᴏsᴛ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴍᴀsǫᴜᴇʀᴀᴅᴇ ☑

Chapter 17. # Memories

Jungkook stood up from the reclined chair, feeling agitation building inside him. "You aren't trying hard enough."

"You are accusing me of something you have no idea about," Jimin retorted with a lilt of dismay in his tone rather than being angry. 

"I can't do this," Jungkook looked at Jimin, shaking his head slowly. "You have to know that I am serious, and I won't stop until you get inside my head. We have been trying this for a week and all we do is waste our time."

"Jungkook," Jimin spoke extremely slowly, "Please calm down." He added, looking at Jungkook's veins over his temples, suddenly starting to bulge. With all the trials and tribulations the prince had gone through in his early life, Jimin wanted to take his time. He admitted that Jungkook had told him that he trusted him, but once he got inside his head, there would be no turning back. Jimin wanted to give Jungkook that choice to withdraw now while he had a chance. 

The younger picked up his handkerchief and left the small room which was situated outside their cabin. He stepped out into the small yard that was a little cold and looked around at the plants that were wafting palatable fragrances. It helped in subduing his mind, only a bit. 

"Jungkook!" Jimin hastily got out too, wanting to follow the younger but stopped when he spotted Jungkook standing in front of a jasmine plant with his behind facing him. "Listen to me, please."

When the younger didn't move an inch, Jimin took it as his cue to continue. "I agree, I wasn't trying hard enough and the reason is that I really want you to re-consider. It will be nothing like me going after Lee Geon, it will be more like watching you doing things by standing in the same room as you. I don't want to hurt you."

"And I want to know what's wrong with me," Jungkook craned his neck to the side, the diamond on his nose shining as he did before he darted his gaze straight again. "I break down for no reason. I feel so guilty that I can't catch my eye in my own reflection. I cry at night and I feel I will be taken away from myself. Trying to live a normal life is tougher than living life after knowing the ghosts of your past. At least people have been given the choice to accept themselves however they are, but I don't know what is even wrong with me, to begin with. How can I make peace and for how long do I fake it?" 

Jimin felt sympathetic. No matter how strong his feelings were for the younger or how much he wanted to protect him from pain, he knew that Jungkook wasn't fine and he needed help, even if it meant digging into his past, giving him pain all over again, so he could finally start healing as soon as he could. What then? Jungkook would leave to never return. "Let's start again."

Jungkook scoffed when he heard the words. "You have been saying this for a whole week now."

"No funny business. I am serious."

Slowly, Jungkook turned and his eyes gradually found Jimin's. He nodded. He was ready for whatever it was — he needed to know. He was ready to share it all with Jimin. When he saw his Hyung extending his hand out towards him, he filed and grabbed it to walk back into the therapy room. 

This room was very small, yet ergonomically organized, and it didn't suffocate anyone inside. The brown wood was varnished, a comfortable chair was laid beside a table with a few cauldrons, tumblers, and what seemed like ear muffs. There was a lot of equipment that Jungkook had never seen before, and he had no idea what they did. He let his weight down on the chair, and Jimin walked to the table to slide open the drawer.

Pulling out a journal that Jungkook saw, Jimin kept it aside and fished out a pen from the same drawer. Just by this, Jungkook could tell that Jimin was now taking it diligently as he hadn't done it before what he was doing right now. "Ready?" The man asked.