One Love Story Also Like This

14.Diary came alive to tell its story !

(Kiara's Diary )
Dear Diary ,

I'm trying hard to overcome from these things but I won't able to do , during day time I forced my mind to get busy in work , during night time I won't able to sleep , I won't able to control my heartache , my tears . I don't know from where these all  haters came during night only about myself have I done any mistake being like this and torturing myself these . This anxiety , pain and everything just killing me .
Before I used to think about after some days this heartache will stop , I'll evolve in new environment accepting the reality and time never stay same like a year have different seasons same happens with our lives but I've spend summer , winter , autumn , spring , rainy and all seasons but no season brought a hope and changes in me. This anxiety , pain and everything is just killing me .

Before I used to think about after some days this heartache will improve, if I'll let this emotion out , I'm going to be okay next day.

But it's like whole days activeness and normality become the madness during night time . I tried to work whole night's days and even I've made lots of money but what is it worth for I'm not really want anything not interested in anything I just want to come out of this situation anyhow .

I saw all types of hallucinations fearful nights , these hallucinations made me to cut my own body , I can't be normal in any way , I need to put make up to go out the way my looks are getting horrible . I've to wear the full sleeves dresses go hide these bruises . Why I'm getting this much into it ? Why can't I came out from that place ,? Why can't I forget those all things ? Everytime I found , struggling with my mental health and day -by - day the way I'm getting sick , I feel like I'm going to die , I don't want to die . How can I came out of these all ? How would I ?

I remembered that night when I stopped him from doing that all stuffs , kicking his ass and he was just about to jump over me to take revenge because I've stole one of his favourite book even he wasn't bookish but still he likes to read that and I stole it to tease him ! At the same time mom and dad came over there and I was laughing at his awkwardness .
Later we both got good marks at finals so that our parents give us some time to spend together and to have little privacy . In those two years , we have no physical things except that day when we went for afterparty before our final year's examination in the Baga Beach Resort at Goa .

That night I remembered his that jerk friend Rajan who forcefully let him drink more and more . After being full of drinking Sam came towards me and took me in his , holding me upstairs in the room of resorts . When a guy asked him "Hey , where are you taking her ?", " I'm taking my wife to bed do you've any problem?" He replied. Everyone was looking questioningly towards us but then Tarun had to explain them all the things .
He pulled off my all clothes and his own too and then he jumped over my like a hungry dog who hadn't seen the food from years or like a chicken lover who has restrictions on eating that but when he finally got that chace just digged in . When he was drunk even his kisses were more long lasting he didn't even let me breathe for a while . He was moving hard that I had to beg him to stop but he didn't stop until he fall sleep . At the morning I wasn't able to move even my whole body was too heavy because of last night ,he slept over me . At the morning when he woke up I feel like kicking his ass but before I can do anything he again started saying ,"last night I was drink I didn't able to feel that let me do it for last time please , second last time when we were about to have , you said do you want me to see pregnant during the college time ! So this time college  is about to over I won't mind to have a baby so soon ", with this he kissed me , I hit his shoulder but it's like nothing was going to affect him that time . After he got over it he winked at me and said ," I won't mind if you want to join me while bath that time I really hit him hard that he just fallen over the floor .

After we get downstairs , because of last night there were marks over my neck that I didn't notice everyone was looking at us and congratulating us.

Our finals results had been out , we got good grades again but still the pain of deseperation didn't leave us  cause our parents told us that we were not allowed for anything until we didn't have a job .
For one week repeatedly we applied for jobs at some places we get rejected and some place get rejected by us . On the eighth day when we were going to find job Sam took me to the hotel and I was looking questioningly towards him what exactly he had in his mind . He said he had surprise for me but after seeing his devil smile what really going on his mind but at the reception , there's something wronge . The woman at the reception was taking extra charges and making some people fool the one who aren't graduate then Sam warn her to gave that money back to all those people she had taken by fooling them otherwise he'll call police there's a man over their watching us . Than that man offered a job to him and he looked towards me and said" if you too are looking for job I've another advertisement company which is handled by my son , you both meet me at my place tomorrow ". He gave a card to us and asked "Are you in a relationship ", then Sam replied ,"We're married !" ," Oh so early ! Well all the best !" He said winking at Sam .I was really happy and said " let's go home and tell our parents that we get the job ". "I don't want to miss the opportunity who knows what restrictions are going to come across let's go ", he winked at him and I remembered how merciless he had became to me for those two hours . I wasn't able to walk even and I got slipped in front of hotel and it was like if I had bath in the mud.  When parents asked what happened then I replied I fall down but the way I was walking mom understand the thing and was blushing from herself.