Spirited away

Chapter 0

Some days, you feel like you just waked from a dream. A strange, marvellous dream. You feel different, as if you just came back from an initiatory rite that transformed you deep within. Then, you question what you just experienced, you want to turn back and see. To know if it's still there, if it's real, if the trace left on your memory isn't just a flickering illusion.

I wrap myself in the texture of the memory. I feel the hot moisture of the air on my skin as the caress of a dear friend. With closed eyes, I am there: lost in the large building with polished wooden floors. I get goose bumps thinking about the filthy tubs I scoured using all the energy I could summon in my tiny limbs. The atmosphere engulfs me, the smells from the kitchen's steaming food platers, the sounds of the whistling pipes, of the employee footsteps… All the details of this boiling macrocosm turn like a merry-go-round in my head. I remember the tyrannical witch, her bad temper and cupidity, though her righteousness regarding the laws of her realm. She kept her word, and let us go.

I just got my name back. The contract turned into dust, and I ran back. Now I cling to my mother's arm. We are getting away from this abandoned theme park, where mortals don't belong.

My memories are still fresh, but I already fear that they will wear down, rot away and scatter from my mind. So I think, hard, hopefully hard enough to cage them. I remember Bô's strength, the endless work of the susuwatari, Kamaji and the heat of his boiler. I think about my strange friend No-face, Lin-onee-san and her dreams to get away from the baths. The pungent taste of the drug pill, the screeching orders of Yubaba.
I put so much resolve in this, that I almost feel the supranatural wind tangling my hair, that I almost see his green eyes, so strange, baring the depths of my spirit. Him too… he's free now. Free to roam the sky, free to find the remains of his river, free to go. Our ways crossed, and separated for the second time…

"Will we meet again sometimes?"

"Sure we will"

"Promise?"

"Promise"

I continue walking, keeping warm those few words, full of light and hope.

When I get in the car, I pick up my flowers, wilted, and sink in the small space I am left with between the boxes and luggage. The tears that have remained breaming in my eyes, fall over their edges, and roll their bitter sweetness down my rounded cheeks. I don't really know if I'm crying out of joy, of sadness, or simple relief. Behind us, the tunnel opening gets smaller. Its façade, smooth and new when we arrived, is eaten by vegetation. The reddish plastered walls crumbled away, leaving the naked stones sticking out, dissociating slowly from one another. The access seems to be saying that it will disappear, that it will seal itself. Soon.
'Now go and don't look back'
There is no way back.

At the rear of the car, the trees bend, erasing the dirt path into nothingness. We leave the forest, as it closes its gates onto its secrets.

- A new home and a new school. It can be a little scary.

I retort :

- I think I can handle it.

Mom turn back to smile to me, and notice the salty trails on my face.

- Chihiro, honey… Is there something wrong?

I shove forward the first excuse at my disposal.

- Look, Mom! It's my flowers : they all dried up!

- Well… That is also unexpected! We stopped for less than an hour. Hubby, something really doesn't fit right…

Dad doesn't react and engage on the main road, with all his characterized finesse. I try to cope with his driving skills, becomingone with the car seat.
I gaze off into the distance, and the faces of my friends come to haunt me there. Their clarity reassures me, I hope not to forget anything, neither my old school, nor this trip in the kamis world. I hold the memories against my chest: the faded bouquet, and Kohaku's gift. The latter, I am not sure whether he gave it to me intentionally.