Dancing with Horns

Arthur 1

     It was raining. I always appreciated the sound of thunder and water drops hitting the ceiling. The sound distracted me from my thoughts. My apartment is usually silent. The television was on mute as I stared wondrously at the screen. I watched the woman on television laugh and smile as the man at the bar said something to her. Her fingers ran through her hair as the man sipped on a glass I assumed was full of alcohol. As the thunder grew louder and the lightning more violent, I turned the television off. There was no point watching strangers pretend to be happy. If anything, it irritated me.

I wasn't a happy person. I went to college full-time and my days blurred into each other. I was an introvert, and had no friends. I'm not exactly a "people person". If anything, being social was merely exhausting. The only time I felt talking was appropriate was when ordering food or answering my mother's phone calls. Even then, it was dreadful. Now don't get me wrong, I am still a male. As closed off as I am, I still long to talk to women. I just can't fathom one ever looking at me and thinking, " let me get a taste of that."

I'm not ugly, but I'm not Ryan Reynolds funny or Channing Tatum gorgeous either. I'm 6'1, lean with long arms, a few tattoos on my left thigh, and a blonde who wears oversized glasses. My frame screams walking skeleton and my hair longer than it needs to be. My mom often thinks I'm afraid of scissors since I haven't cut my hair in years. Yet, even though my self-esteem is rocky; I can't help but wonder what a real relationship would look like. Would she like me regardless of how I look? Can she handle the fact I'm a closed off person? These are questions I ask myself often. Enough of that. I can't let myself fall down a rabbit hole of what-if.

The rain subsided and now the only sound in my apartment is coming from myself. I looked down at my phone. It was ten past midnight. She would be coming home soon. My heart started to race thinking about hearing her heels hit the floor and her keys open the door next to mine. It was what I looked forward to most nights. I know I'm supposed to be asleep in order to wake up in the morning, but I just needed to wait. This was worth missing sleep for anyways. She was the closest thing to an outside world without having to actually step outside.

Forty minutes has passed..... she's late. My eyes were starting to burn. I should definitely be in bed right now. Screw this. I stood up and walked over to my kitchen. It was dark. I kept a small lamp on my counter top and that made up a most of my appliances. I flicked it on and made myself a glass of water. The sink was so loud I almost didn't notice the sound of laughter coming down the hallway. I sat the cup down and hurried to my front door. My left ear resting against the cold wood re-assured me that yes, in fact, there was laughter. It was from whom I was shocked by. She brought home a man.

She never keeps company. It was one of the reasons she was a great neighbor. There was never parties, obnoxious sex or sounds coming from next door. She was the perfect non-roommate an introvert like me could ask for. So, this brought on a pit in my stomach. My hands began to sweat and my heart was now pulsing inside my throat. I had no right to be angry. She was a stranger really. I only knew what she looked like from glances through the the peep hole in my door. I had no idea where this rage was coming from. Had I really made up this scenario of the perfect woman and now I'm upset I was wrong? That's ridiculous. I should be ashamed of myself for caring so much.

Their footsteps grew closer. Her heels was light. She must be wearing sandals. Her usual steps were now followed by a loud, heavy set. I could hear the man grunt as he paced towards her door. My left eye peeking as I caught a glimpse of a broad shape wearing a dark blue coat. Her keys kept falling out her hands as she giggled. Was she intoxicated? I never pictured her as a drinker. Then again, I never pictured her having company over either. Her keys finally made success with the door and it slammed open. I jumped at the sound of it. I moved along the wall following the sounds of what I would assume was kissing. I could almost hear every breath between the exchanges of tongue. It made me wanna throw up.

I was so intrigued that regardless of how badly I wanted to stop, I couldn't. The kissing grew louder, and her breathing as well. I closed my eyes picturing the scene. The man tumbled over something. I assumed he lost his balance. I heard a scream come out his mouth, and a moan. Oh,no. This isn't happening. My face glided against the wall tracing every movement they made until they paused in the kitchen. I sat on the concrete floor patiently hoping to hear anything. Nothing. What happened? Why the radio silence from nowhere. I was positive I would endure hearing my neighbor have sex or something. Was it over that quick? Did they drunkly pass out? Weird.

I glanced over at my phone. Fuck! It was nearly three in the morning. I had class in less than five hours. I needed to get off the kitchen floor and go to sleep. My body was sore and exhausted. My feet barely lifted my body up as I concentrated on making it to my couch. I didn't have enough energy to make it to the bedroom. I didn't care anyways. The couch was just as comfortable as my bed. I wrapped my upper half in a dark fleece blanket I had laying on the floor and stared into the darkness. I kept picturing the strangers in the room connected to mine. Did they pass out on the floor? Are they okay? Why do I care so damn much? This was ridiculous. I closed my eyes, rolled over and after awhile drifted asleep.