I gently bring my cart to a stop. I bend down. And look at the candles. I pick out two I like. One is pink and sparkly. One is smaller and purple. I choose the purple one. I straighten up. And push my cart over to the pastry section. I quickly pick up a vanilla cupcake. They're my favorite. I place it in my cart. I walk to the self checkout. I glance at the missing people posters above the water fountain. I scan my items. I pull out my card. My first card. And I pay for my items. The sky is a dull blue. It's fall. And the leaves are beginning to fall off. The wind pushes against my face. I walk up to my car. And drive off. It's only a short drive home. I put the radio on. They're talking about a singer who passed away. A bad car crash. I quickly change the channel. I glance at the sky as it begins to drizzle. My house comes into view. It's a new house. A small house. A clean house. I pull into the driveway. And unlock my door. There are still boxes everywhere. I lock my door behind me. I place my bag on the counter. And turn the tv on. I only have a pillow on the floor right now. I had to get away. I'm closer to my family in this new house. The TVis on the news station. A reporter is talking about a recent fire. A family of five was killed. I quickly change the channel. I turn on a show from when I was young. I haven't seen it in years. It begins to get dark outside. I stand up. I grab my grocery bag. And a lighter. And a paper plate. And sit back down on the pillow. I place the cupcake on the plate. I take the candle out of its wrapping. And gently place it on the cupcake. I pick up the lighter. And the plate. I light the candle. I hold the plate with two hands. And I stare at it. What do I do now? My hands begin to shake. I begin to tear up. I try to take a deep breath. I'm shaking too much. I put the plate down and break down crying. My glasses begin fogging up. I take them off. And wipe my tears until my cheeks are raw and my eyes are glossy. I place my hand on my chest and finally take a deep breath. I lightly wipe my nose with my sleeve. The only sounds are breathing. And my heart beating. It pulses loud in my ears. I put my glasses back. I pick up the plate. I smile. And blow out the candle.
