ARTIST | BTS FF

HURT

Y/n's POV

How could he do this to me, I trusted him, loved him, I let him enter my comfort zone and now he did this. I can't believe that he tried to invade my boundaries. I am doomed to be alone.

I was at my apartment tucked in a dark corner with darkness surrounding me, my brain filled up with all those negative thoughts that ruin me to my core, but I can't defy them because they are true...for me, I believe they are true and that is what depression is for me.

Depression is when you know and believe with all your faith that every single bad thing or occurrence is your fault, it is you who are wrong, it is you who have done bad and it is you who should never have been here leading to suicidal thoughts.

(But it is never you it is always the world pressuring you to believe (a/n I know this all because I have been through it) I know it is hard to get out of this endless cycle of emotional pain but if you don't try how would you know for sure that this is the end, that you truly are not worth it because I believe that no one is sent in this world without a reason. You are worth every ounce of love in this world.)

My heart was hurting like hell due to all those blade like sharp words he threw at me. I couldn't breathe, I was feeling dizzy, my sub conscious was a mess.

Me : am I really that bad? Do I really deserve all this? Is it all really my fault? Everyone would have been at ease if I wasn't here right? Everyone would be happy if I won't be here, maybe I should leave this world, I have suffered enough, I don't deserve a life... I am not desired by anyone... The one I loved hates me, he tried to touch me...I am not a slut...I am not a whore *with each word I took a step towards the kitchen my focus towards the knife settled among the cutlery unaware of the crime it is gonna be used to commit*... I should die....I should be at peace now...It is time to sleep.....I am a sin anyway....I shouldn't have been here in the first place... Everyone leaves me... This time I will leave everyone.
*I grabbed the knife from the holder, aiming it towards my stomach, tears streaming down my eyes*

Me : I SHOULD END THIS SIN NOW AND FOREVER!!!

Taehyung : Y/N!!!!!!

Taehyung : For fucks sake STOP!!!

It is my brain playing games, it doesn't wanna leave, but I want to... I was about to shove that knife in me when someone grabbed it and threw it away.

Taehyung : Y/n baby *crying* I am so sorry this is all my fault.

He is here...I fainted falling into his arms my body feeling as weightless as a feather. All my worries fading into an unknown universe.

Taehyung's POV

Me : DOCTOR!!!! I need a doctor here right now!!

Nurse : but sir-

Me : Get a doctor or I would sue this place, she has fainted and is losing her pulse, I want a doctor right at this instant!!!

Nurse : I will get one, lay her on this bed sir.

I layed her down on the bed sitting beside her, crying, it was all my doing. I am disgusted of myself, I always harm the ones I love... Always. Just thinking about what I said to her-

PREVIOUSLY

Me : I think I fucked up bad hyung.

Namjoon : What happened Tae?

I told him everything and as soon as I told him about the last part...

Namjoon : You are telling me she is sensitive to skinship??