The doors of the elevator opened and I made my way skipping and twirling towards our room with a smile that would remain on my face until I would forget about this night, which would be never. I finally got to our room and took the key card out of my pocket, throwing it in the air and catching it like a little girl. As I put the key card in, I flung open the door and stood there in all my glory, smiling with my arms out and shouting, “I am here! Never fear!!”
I walked into the room and saw Emily and Carmello on the couch staring blankly at me. Emily rolled her eyes, “Finally. Where have you been missy?”
I glided closer to them and began to prance around the room singing “THE HIIILLLLLLS ARE ALIIIIIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MOOOOSIIICCC. FA LA LA LAAAAA” Happiness and exhaustion obviously didn’t mix well with me. Emily and Carmello both looked at each other with their faces written with confusion all over.
“Okay! .. I should head to bed. Night girls.” Carmello said as he kissed Emily on the forehead and stood up making his way to Emily’s room.
Emily got off the couch and walked up to me, analysing my eyes.
“Holly…….”
“Yes, my dear?!” I replied cheerfully, grabbing her for a hug, “You smell nice!”
Emily awkwardly patted my back and took my shoulders looking deep into my eyes, “Did you take drugs?”
I bursted out laughing, “What? No! You know me, I’m totally against that stuff. HUGS NOT DRUGS!!” I grabbed her for another hug,
“I’m just really happy right now!” I beamed,
“Oh.. okay. So you’re drunk then?”
“Smell my breath guuurl, no alcohol whatsoever.”
Emily quickly backed away when she realised I was being serious as I opened my mouth and started to blow out my breath. Her look of disgust slowly changed into a smile, “You’ve met someone.”
She knew me too well. My eyes lit up and I plopped myself onto the floor, cross legged, grabbing a cushion and cuddling it tight.
“He’s amazing Emily!”
She looked down at me and smiled making her way to the fridge and coming back with a tub of ice cream with two spoons, then joining me on the floor.
“Tell me all about it.”
I shoved a big spoon of ice cream down and told her every single detail of Zayn and the night we shared. From the frustration of losing my donuts to the way he looked at me every time our eyes met.
“So, you’re telling me that you met the guy of your dreams who you have been obsessing about ever since One Direction first started for the last 4 years and you two spent the whole night together just talking?”
“And kissing!!” I added in
“Seems legit.” Emily shrugged
“EM!! Are you kidding right now!?” I threw a cushion at her face,
“Are you sure you didn’t just go to a bar and passed out on the side and dreamt this whole thing?”
Frowning, I leaned in closer and blew my breath onto her face. “DO I SMELL LIKE ALCOHOL?!?!”
Emily started to laugh and waved her hands about to tell me to calm down, “Holly, I’m just kidding. Relax.” She grabbed me with her arms and hugged me tight. “I’m so happy for you babe, he does sound amazing!”
I held onto Emily and squealed, “I’m so happy for meeee too!!!”
We laughed together and as we broke apart from our hug, Emily’s face changed and looked more serious.
“Just be careful okay? Don’t let things move too fast. You and I both know what happened last time.” she stood up and began to walk towards her room to join Carmello, “I’m gonna go to bed now, night! Love you!”
I smiled back at her and began to go into deep thought. She was right. All this time I’ve been swooning, filling myself up with hope and happiness, getting caught up in it all. When I should’ve took a look at the reality of it. Zayn was, well Zayn. He’s a celebrity and he lives in London. I, on the other hand live in Australia and will be going back in a month from now. God, life is such a cockblock. Did I really want to get involved with him even though I knew that there was no way that this could end happily? Even though I knew that I was just setting myself up for heartbreak? My message tone from my BlackBerry interrupted my train of thought and I grabbed it to check who it was. It was Zayn.
“i jus wantd to wish u a good night :) sleep tight! X”
I threw my phone in the air and sighed loudly, falling to the ground, asking myself why was he so perfect repeatedly. And not just perfect as a human being, or at making my heart melt, but perfect at timing. It was like the world was purposely making it harder for me to choose.
I groaned and grabbed the cushion putting it over my face. I needed to make a decision right now and decide whether I wanted to continue seeing Zayn. I couldn’t even believe that I even needed to make this decision. Because a) We only just met, and b) You’d think it would be an undoubtedly big fat yes without any hesitation. When in the hell would you ever get an opportunity like this? An opportunity where your sexy ass-Godlike-fatherofmychildrenmaterial-perfectineveryway-chunkofhunk-dtf4anyday celebrity crush wants you too? Zayn made me so happy and I didn’t want to spend another day in London knowing that I could of spent it with him. But the question was whether I should take a chance and be happy for a month and deal with months or possibly years of heartbreak afterwards or simply let all of this go before anything else happens so that I could save myself. Save my heart. I don’t know what I would do if I got my heart broken again, and being with Zayn was pretty much a no brainer that it was going to happen. So the answer seemed obvious. It had to end before it went any further. Anyone who has had their heart broken learns that when it comes to your heart, you have to put yourself first to make sure that nobody will ever hurt you again.
I rolled to my side and grabbed my phone to check the time. It was now 3:00AM and it was definitely time for bed. What a rollercoaster day it had been. I still couldn’t believe that it hadn’t even been 24 hours that I’ve been here, yet so much has happened already. Emotionally anyway. All because of Zayn. And now, I had to let him go.
I searched through my phone to put my alarm on to start a new day, a new day without Zayn. As soon as I was about to click “OK”, my phone began to ring. Zayn’s name came up flashing, which scared the fuck out of me causing my phone to fall right on top of my face. My heart was racing and I quickly sat up to find my phone, grabbing it as fast as I could. I stared at my phone’s screen for a little while, staring at his name, contemplating whether I should pick up. “Of course you should pick up you douchebag!!!!” my head screamed,
”..Hello?” I asked softly
“Holly! I’m sorry if I woke you… I just..”
”..I just really wanted to hear your voice.”
I could hear him smile through the phone which made me feel even worse. I felt like dying inside, yet at the same time millions of butterflies were fluttering about inside of my tummy. Why was this happening? Why was the world making it so hard for me to let go? Or maybe this was this world’s sign in telling me to end it now…
