𝐎𝐧 𝐆𝐚𝐧𝐠 ᥫ᭡

XXXIV

N'laisah Dior Olsen
Monroe, Louisiana

Amari asked me to stop by the trap today and ian got shit better to do so...

When I walk in I scope the place. Naked workers, his homeboys, him, and a new girl with a baby boy on her lap.

Why the hell would you have a baby at a traphouse? If we get shot up then what?

"Where's Smokey?" I ask the room.

"Hey Ecstasy. He in back sis." Nunu side hugs me.

He always been nicest to me. I believe he's Amari's best best friend.

"Aight, thanks cuh." I wake in the kitchen.

I see him sorting out money on the kitchen table.

"What's up." I sit down next to him.

"Hi mamas." He hugs me and I gently push him off.

"Why am I here?" I ask.

"Let's talk. Forreal." He shuffles a stack of money before rubber banding it.

"Okay bet." I nod.

"Do you ever see yourself getting back with me? Be honest." He stares at me waiting for a response.

"I- I mean... Well maybe?" I make a yikes face.

I don't want him to move on so I'mma give him hope until I make a decision.

"Do you- what's that?" He points to the new tattoo on my wrist.

I hold my arm out as he examines it.

"N'liya?" He reads out the tattoo.

"Yup." I smile at it.

"Why'd you get that?" He caresses it with his thumb.

"Let's go talk in the back. Niggas be nosey." I say.

We head back to the main bedroom for privacy.

"This is what I would've named our baby." I mumble.

"Yea..." He scratches his neck, confused by what I meant.

"Amari I was pregnant." I sigh.

"Was? Past tense?"

"A miscarriage." I explain what happened and he just stands there for a minute.

"Why ain't you call me baby I would've been there." He wipes my tears before they fall, pulling me onto his chest.

"Ion knoww, we wasn't speaking or nun." I fiddle with my Cuban bracelet.

"I don't care if we on bad terms you don't ever need to go through shit alone. Reach out to me and I'll be there for you, I promise." He kisses the top of my head while I pull myself together.

"I'm too thug to be crying." I cry.

"It's okay." He rubs my back.

"Thank you for being there for me even though we not together." I sniffle.

I get a tissue to blow my nose then throw it away.

"I miss you working for me." He says.

"I miss working for you. My pockets was never fatter." I frown.

"Come back then."

"You know what, why not?" I shrug.

"You know sumn?" I look at him.

"What?"

"My record show me not having a job. Imma go file unemployment too." I smile being dead serious.