A study in gender

Transport

{hello, I decided to try and write something different from my other stories. I hope you will enjoy it and I do encourage you to leave some feedback. :) }

~~~~

Sherlock never really paid any attention to his body when he was younger. He deemed it unimportant and ruled it out as transport. Instead he focused on his mind and the rest was "a burden he had to live with", that's what he called it.

But the older he got, the more changes he went through. Changes he wasn't really prepared for. He always thought he would be more like Mycroft when he grew up, instead he was quite the opposite.

He didn't get broad shoulders or a deep voice. Instead his hips got wider and his chest developed in a particular feminine way. His body betrayed him.

He should've known this was going to happen, his knowledge of human anatomy is quite above average.

He tried his best to ignore it and keep his full attention on his brain, but over time he found that he could not focus on anything else. His body was taking over his mind. And ignoring something like that is just paving your own path to self-destruction.

One night he woke up and he just couldn't endure that awful feeling anymore. Something had to be done. He took his scissors and cut of a significant part of his dark, curly hair. Of course when his mother woke up and saw the mess Sherlock had made in the bathroom, she was furious.

His mother said something along the lines of "Sherlyn! That's not very lady-like, is it? What were you thinking? And what will people think? You're supposed to be a lady."

He also gave himself the name "Sherlock" instead of "Sherlyn". He had practiced it loads of times in the mirror.

"Hello, my name is Sherlock William Scott Holmes."

But still, Sherlock felt incomplete.

From the moment he woke up in the morning, he got misgendered. Getting called "She" instead of "he", getting called "Sherlyn". And worst of all, having to bear the sight of his body. He did not dare to look down.

He used to love showering, the sound of the water cancelling out everything else. It brought him peace in his busy mind. But it now felt like a punishment he had to endure. It's like all day he imagines his body to be something else but at the end of the day it's just a disappointment.

He has tried many things. Showering in the dark, showering with clothes on, covering every reflection in sight. This was quite inconvenient. It just didn't work.

He tried to bind with tape, which just made his skin ache. It didn't actually make him flat.

At school he didn't fit in. He tried his best to make friends but never got further than a couple conversations. Everyone thought he was a freak. They were beneath him anyway, they didn't understand. So after a lot of trying (and a lot of crying) he gave up trying to fit in.

He stopped trying to make friend and started doing his own thing. During lunchbreaks he would break into the science lab, that is if he didn't get caught. Other times he was found in the library.

He tried his best to be as smart as Mycroft, he thought maybe that would solve his problem. It didn't. He wanted to BE Mycroft.

He wanted to be a boy. Not a girl. Sherlock and not Sherlyn. He and not she. He IS a boy.