Mirific Flower Petals

78

"Hey, come here. Let me read you something."

"Aw," Fleur purred, occupying the space in between Delonixʼs thighs, "you're reading to me na rin!"

"I wanted to cheer you up. You're so sad, Fleur."

"It's fine, everything's fine..." His index finger stroked her jaw with the lightest touch known to everyone. "I'm not sad... but maybe grieving. In a good way, if it makes sense!"

"I'm sorry it had to come to this."

"No, no! Don't be like that. I wanted it to happen, alright? I was the one always getting the shorter end of the stick," she explicated. "I deserve to be treated better than that. Alam ko naman 'yun dati pa, it just took me this long to act on it."

"And you did it so bravely. Let's not focus on that, hmm? You don't have to endure them anymore, isn't that something to be happy about? This is what you wanted—to be out of their circle."

"I know that... but even though I want to cut them off, I knew them for a significant period of time. Nobody can erase the memories I had with them."

"Bad ones, Fleur," Delonix corrected. "Those were bad memories."

"I'm genetically tied to those people! Their blood is the same as the one flowing in my body. I'm always going to be associated with them. Cutting myself off isn't magically going to make those disappear."

"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb," he still tried to justify it.

Shamefully, she pressed her lips into a thin line, "I'm overcomplicating this, aren't I?"

"No..." Delonix immediately refused, holding her shoulders so she would face him. "It's normal for you to feel this way, to feel lost amidst it all. You separated yourself from your biological parents, Fleur. Regardless of them being your parents or not, you shouldn't have to feel guilty for choosing your own peace."

"I'm not regretting my decision... pero napapaisip kasi ako kung bakit kinailangan naming humantong sa ganoon. I don't know, baka nasobrahan na ako sa kakaisip." She cupped her cheeks with her hands. "They absolutely didn't care when it came to me, so why should I?"

"I told you, Fleur... It's normal to undergo those thoughts; you're processing what happened. Just give it some time first."

"I made the right decision, didn't I?"

Delonix planted a soft kiss on the top of Fleur's head. "Only the right people deserve your time, your love. Don't waste it on the ones who can't give you even a fraction of it."

"You know, Delonix, I've been thinking about a lot of things and there was something I realized about you."

"Should I be concerned? Were you thinking badly of me?"

"No, I wasn't. I won't allow myself to."

"Then what is it?"

The root of her realization resided underneath Delonix's curvy lashes—a pair of eyes that revealed his sincerest emotions. Being not much of a speaker, his eyes sought and spoke out the contents of his mind when his tainted lips weren't functional at all.

She breathed, "I think you have so much love to give but only a few people to give it to."

An inaudible hum escaped his lips. "You think so?"

Two silent nods spoke more than words inside the room. She kept on noticing the littlest things about Delonix as they knew each other more and more. His fine movements concealed his passionate intentions but she saw beyond that frame. He had fascinating mystifications that normal people wouldn't realize.

"I don't need more people, I have all the people I need."

"They will be so lucky to experience how it is to be loved by you. I think they're missing out so much in life dahil doon," she reasoned.

"Subtle but not as subtle as you think, pretty flower."

She laughed, leaning again on Delonix's chest. "Yeah, I'm so lucky talaga."

"I told you I was gonna read you something but we kept on getting off track."

With a voice as light as the invisible pair of wings attached on her back, she chuckled, "I'm sorry na. Gusto ko kasing nag-uusap lang tayo. I like talking to you nga kasi."

"We have a lot of time left in the world to talk and do whatever we want. For now, let me read this to you."

"Ikaw ha, feeling cheeky." She rolled her eyes jokingly and poked his cheek. "Fine, ito na! Aayos na."

Her chest roared with loud anticipation. That jitter strolled its way up to her lips in the form of a smile she withheld by digging her teeth into her lower lip. It was the first time Delonix presented to read her a piece, she wondered what he chose to read to her.

"She walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies; and all that's best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes. Thus mellowed to that tender light which heaven to gaudy day denies."

Fleur's cheeks seared with a certain shade of rose when Delonix started to read her favorite poem. It flashed on her mind vividly—how she stumbled upon one poetry book and pored over the lines that strung itself around her chest like ivy and with the rough pages drowning with the shades of daylight.

Her voyage to her own acceptance was a cobbled path she draggled on with inexplicable difficulty; finding such a piece that enacted her journey was that long sigh of yearned relief. It was also like exploring more pieces of herself that time restricted her to find.

"One shade the more, one ray the less, had half impaired the nameless grace which waves in every raven tress or softly lightens o'er her face where thoughts serenely sweet express how pure, how dear their dwelling-place."

As the words of the poem's nearing end touched Delonix's lips, the side of his eyes crinkled with a soft touch of abstruseness. Fleur wanted to cup his cheeks with her warm palms and to tell him how gratifying it was that she met her true self and him at the same damned lifetime. Her flawed soul had grown so tired of imitating the shape of others' souls yet for the longest time since, everything felt like it fell into the right place.

"And on that cheek, and o'er that brow, so soft, so calm, yet eloquent, the smiles that win, the tints that glow, but tell of days in goodness spent, a mind at peace with all below, a heart whose love is innocent."

Delonix wiped the last syllable on the corner of his mouth and Fleur still chased her breath. Fleur's voyage embarked on a different turn today—she can now sail without her insecurities holding her back after looking at herself from an entirely wrong perspective. She encountered some setbacks or disappointments but that doesn't make her lesser than anybody who was alive and breathing. She has finally accepted that she wasn't damaged or broken; she is a human.

Unexpected tears trickled from the cracks of her heart. It had been years since she willingly hugged herself after making some mistakes and sure, she may have been slightly hypocritical for hating on herself sometimes but she could overlook that now. She wasn't dwelling on her past or her mistakes anymore; she knew she would still make some along the way. She gasped for more air, finding some humor about how new and relieving it was to finally come to that conclusion. God, that felt so satisfying.

"She Walks in Beauty?" she asked, a little grin peering on her lips.

Delonix smiled, eyes gazing down at her with half-lidded eyes. "Yeah..."

"You have your ways of wooing me, angel, and I don't want it to end. Not yet, not ever. I'm never going to grow tired of it."

"Even if we have to be this close forever?" he whispered so gently.

She pulled him by his collar, their lips met as the glow of the horizon illuminated on them. The sky treaded alone until it met the soul of the sea and with clasped hands, they glided their way to the frail thread stitching Fleur and Delonix's hearts together. There, they rested peacefully; they were untouchable and invincible.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."