beautiful mistake - joe burrow

56

"well?" Nick grinned at Joe as they happened to run into each other in the hallway. Joe had just returned from his meeting with Dan and as he had suspected last night, they unfortunately had to talk about a lot of bad scenes of Joe.

"Hey Nick. Is Elle in her office?" Joe asked. He just wanted to see her for a minute before he had to go on to the video analysis with the whole offense team, which probably wasn't going to be any more positive.

"She should be there and I'm sure she'll be happy to see you since you didn't have time for her last night" Nick smiled kindly at Joe while Joe looked confused.

"No time? She canceled on me and said she had to work" Joe clarified. Had Elle been lying to him? But why? Had he done something?

"Oh, really? Then...maybe I misunderstood her. She really was working yesterday, too. Only I thought she was working because you didn't have time, because she could have easily finished things throughout the week" Nick shrugged.

"Anyway, she's in her office and just by herself. Michael's on massage shift right now, so hurry up and stop by and see her" he patted Joe on the shoulders, gave him an encouraging wink and pushed past him.

A bit confused, Joe made his way to Elle's office and knocked before simply entering. "Oh, heyyy" Elle smiled happily at him as she retrieved the granola bar she had quickly hidden in case it had been Paul and took a bite.

Paul didn't like to see them eating while working and especially in front of the computers, but Elle just couldn't manage to stay focused between breakfast and lunch without snacks and so by now Michael and she had quite an accumulation of snacks and sweets hidden all over the office.

"Bon appetit" Joe mumbled and dropped into Michael's chair. "You okay?" Elle asked, noticing the uncertainty in Joe's voice, and tossed the wrappers from the bar into the trash can by the door.

Joe sighed before eyeing Elle and then fixing her firmly with his gaze. "Did you lie to me yesterday?" he asked, not taking his eyes off Elle.

"What, when?" Elle asked in shock. "When you said you didn't have time because you had to work" "what made you think that?" "I just talked to Nick and he said you could have easily spread the work out over the week" Joe explained.

"Yeah, I could have, but I did it yesterday so I could get it over with" Elle shrugged. "I didn't lie to you, I really did have to work".

"Why does it still feel like you chose to work and not have an evening with me?" Joe asked, sighing.

"Oh, you totally misunderstood, Joe. I didn't choose work over you. On the contrary, I have more time this week since I'm already done that means I have to start later during the week" Elle explained before getting up and walking over to Joe.

"And I thought...I thought if I didn't have to go to work so early...you could stay over again sometime" she stroked his cheek and smiled at him.

Joe suddenly felt bad that he had wronged Elle so much and returned her smile. "That sounds good" he replied and put his hand on hers.

"Good, then you'll come to my place tonight?" she asked smiling. Joe nodded before sighing "I have to go again. Have to listen to all the things I did wrong now. For the second time."

"You'll just have to hang in there for now, but you'll have tonight to look forward to" Elle winked at him with a grin. "My one bright spot" Joe grinned, waved at her and left the room.

Relieved, Elle dropped back into her chair. She had just gotten her act together then. While she had really worked yesterday, it hadn't been for the reason she had given Joe.

She had done it to escape the evening with him. She just couldn't. Ever since Ja'Marr had mentioned that she should have set Joe up, a feeling of panic had broken out in her that she had never known before.

It didn't feel like what she felt when her panic attacks started. The feeling that made her hands shake uncontrollably. The one that put this heavy weight on her chest that made it hard to breathe. That waves of heat and cold alternately coursed through her body. That put her sight and hearing out of action. No, it wasn't the feeling.

It was the sheer panic that it could happen again. That Joe was no different than he was...He, whose name she hadn't spoken since the breakup. Not even to her therapist had she ever mentioned his name, even though he was the reason she had to go there. He had only ever been known as the one.

The one who had broken her. The one who was to blame for losing Elle's self-esteem and everything that had once made her who she was. The one because of whom she had thrown herself into so much work that to this day she still sees more stress as an escape from stress. The one who had made her think she could never trust a person again. The one who was to blame for the fact that every once in a while her mind was still thinking about how she could drive Joe away.

She hated that she couldn't tell Joe the truth, as much as she wanted to, but just thinking about it made her feel that feeling again, sheer panic. It was a horrible feeling. Much worse than any panic attack.

What was going to happen next? What was it going to come to when Elle was already telling the first lies before they were even really together? How was she going to manage to let him get to her completely without telling him what had happened?

If she wasn't at work, she'd probably be hiding in her room right now, crying for a bit until she fell asleep and hoping that when she woke up, the problems wouldn't be there anymore. And if they weren't, she would repress them until they came up again and she would start the whole thing all over again.

It wasn't a good solution, but for Elle it was one that worked. Maybe she should go to Paul and ask if she could get more work. That way she could do what she did best, get so caught up in the work that she wouldn't have to worry about anything else.

But then what would she do tonight when she was with Joe? Maybe she should talk to Nick for a minute before that, so she could get the worry off her chest. Because, if Joe noticed tonight that something was bothering her, she might have to talk about it and she just didn't want to and couldn't do that today.

Sighing, she got up. She would look for Nick and ask him for a short talk, if that didn't help, she could always take refuge in work.

Thank you so much for all the comments, likes and reads!!! I really appreciate it!

Shoutout to the lovely Ronin1025 , who's about to post a NFL story about the first female NFL player and I already know that it will be amazing, so don't miss it!!

Question: what are you doing to calm down when you're stressed?

My answer: I often write, listen to music or paint. Sometimes I'm  just in bed and watch my comfort movies or shows.

Comment your answer and leave a like!!

WHO-DEY🧡