what if i ended it all?
who would miss me when im gone?
would anyone grieve, losing me?
what i would give to know.
what if i ended it all?
the temptation of the knife
the insatiable craving to tear myself apart
to ruin myself, to destroy my life.
what if i ended it all?
i thought drowning would be
the most painful way to die, but living
is just as painful. god, it's fucking painful.
what if i ended it all?
if i took my life
if i said i'd had enough
if i closed my eyes.
what if i ended it all?
would you regret
would you forget
all about me?
if i ended it all
i wouldn't miss you anymore
it wouldn't hurt so much anymore
i wouldn't feel, anymore.
if i ended it all
then it would all come to a close
the pain, the suffering-
what a simple solution to a big problem.
if i ended it all
i wouldn't truly be gone
since i had given you so much of me;
at least you'd still have so much of me.
if i ended it all
would you have loved me, held me
while you could, would you have seen me
for every bit of the scared girl i was?
if i ended it all
would you have seen that i was so weak
but still i tried so hard to be strong for you
but fell apart, because of you
if i ended it all
would that finally be enough
for you to break down, to apologise
for all that you did, for all that you said?
if i ended it all
would you have looked over at me
twice, knowing that it'd be the last
second glance you took, ever again?
when i end it all
would you finally admit that i mattered
would you finally admit that you cared
to my dead body?
when i end it all
i wouldn't know, but these words?
you'd never speak them to me
while i'm still alive.
when i end it all
i hope i still cross your mind
i hope you grieve for me
i hope you feel something, if at all.
when i end it all
what's the point?
all this wouldn't matter anymore
nothing would, six feet under.
23/3/22
YOU ARE READING
《headspace》
Poetrysometimes, the world gets too much and i can't help but feel inundated. so i cope in a way where the words flow uninhibited and my thoughts run free. this is a graveyard, and herein lies all the things that i can never say aloud. poetry by astoria_...
