Robert and Andy?

Talking

I was staring at the picture of Dad on the wall. 

Diane joined me. 

She sighed, looking at the picture of Dad. 

"I'd heard about your transfer. It was bold... Standing up to McCallister like that with Bishop. He'd be proud of you." Diane gave me her opinion. 

"You know, Miller was always secretly my Dad's favorite-- Bullheaded, stubborn..." 

"Mm." 

"Too smart for his own good sometimes." 

"Yeah." 

She chuckled. 

"But his capacity for-- For good? For-- For change? He saw that potential. He'd be really proud of what he's doing." 

"So, you and Sullivan." 

"Ah." 

"You gonna talk about that?" 

I laughed. 

"Yes. You and your annoying habit of burrowing right into the truth." 

"Are you separated? Divorced?" 

"Not yet. He has the papers. They were served here on shift. Which was an accident but he hates me for it. I mean, Gibson said something that really pissed me off, but he might have a point, which is incredibly annoying because--" 

"Because it's Gibson." 

I laughed. 

"Yeah." 

"Mm-hmm. What did he say?" 

I sighed. 

"He said that-- He said that Robert and I are like my parents. That, I, specifically, am like my Mom, who walked out on us when I was a kid." 

I walked out into the bay. 

Diane followed me. 

"I thought she was dead but she wasn't. She kind of just ghosted us and I--" 

I cleared my throat. 

"After what happened with Robert going behind all of our backs, especially my back, I left. I didn't say a word. I just-- I just left. And then, 10 months later, I filed." 

"Do you blame him for your transfer?" 

"I don't not blame him." 

She nodded her head. 

"Alright, give it to me, Diane. I know you have a take. You always have a take." 

"Okay." 

I looked over at Diane. 

"You went from zero to 100 overnight. When I met you, you told me he made you feel electric..." 

I sighed. 

"Mm." 

"Like no man had ever made you feel before. The last time you and I spoke, I saw the love you had for him, the fear and concern for his mental well-being and his physical safety. Feelings like that don't just turn off." 

"Then how come all I feel now is anger? Red, hot, all-consuming anger?" 

"Well, usually when a feeling is that intense..." 

"Just-- Just say it." 

I folded up one of the chairs. 

"Hysterical, historical." 

"Okay. Okay. Now, you're gonna have to explain it." 

I laughed. 

"When you feel hysterical-- Heightened, incredibly intense, overwhelming emotions-- A rage, a need to run away, a sudden need to never speak to someone again, it's often because something unprocessed from your past has been triggered. So, when you're hysterical, it's historical." 

"So, you're saying Gibson was right." 

"No. No. I'm saying... Talk to someone. Robert, a counselor, a counselor with Robert. In my experience, both professionally and personally speaking, most people don't go from electric to divorced." 

I entered the Kitchen. 

Maddox and Captain Aquino were in the Fridge. 

"Why are you scavenging 19's Kitchen?" 

"Because their Captain didn't feed us." Aquino answered. 

"I told you there was Pizza in there somewhere." Beckett told him while being on his phone. 

"Which there is not." 

"Hey. Have you guys seen Sullivan?" 

"I think he's in the Gym." Beckett responded while being on his phone. 

I was walking out. 

"Hey." He called. 

I turned around. 

"Hey." I greeted. 

"You, uh..." 

Beckett cleared his throat. 

"You want to hang out again?" 

"No. No, I don't. I really don't." 

"Wow. Well, uh... Way to soften the blow." 

"I- I'm sorry. I-- I'm-- I'm hurting people a lot these days and I don't mean to. Sorry. I didn't mean how it sounded." 

"No. I- I get it. I get it. I'll just... Show myself out." 

He walked pass me. 

I found Robert on the balcony. 

"Hi." I greeted. 

I breathed sharply. 

I joined him. 

"Oh, hey. I was just looking for you." Robert told me. 

"I-- I was looking for you." 

I stood in front of him. 

"Robert, I wanted to--" 

"Look. Uh... No, no, no. No, please. Let me just-- Let me speak for a moment. I love you." 

Robert breathed sharply. 

"You were the first woman after Claire to make me feel whole again. You helped me rediscover myself as a man and as a friend and... I- I- I know I made mistakes and I'm so sorry for hurting you, but I can't be sorry for trying to rebuild my career." 

I nodded my head. 

"Um..." 

He brought the divorce papers out. 

"So, um... I signed." 

I took them from him. 

"I love you, Andy, but I can't be the only one fighting for us. I want you to be happy... And I want to be happy." 

I shook my head. 

"Robert--" 

"Herrera. Let's go. Train's leaving." Aquino called. 

Robert walked around me. 

I sighed as I watched him walk away.