Because I'm in Love

It was heartbreaking, to say the least. In the past years, she felt a connection and a literal bond with her leader. Harboring feelings for her that felt wrong yet right at the same time. There had been times when she thought maybe these were just normal feelings you feel with your friends and loved ones, though she never felt anything like this when paired with another member of the team. Only when dealing with matters of Robin would there be the proverbial butterflies in her stomach. An uncomfortable flame rose inside of her whenever she was around or when she showed her attention. She thought maybe it could be reciprocated. She showed her special attention whenever she felt off. She made her feel appreciated. She simply made her feel.

And in one moment it was shattered. They were in Tokyo following a villain that had attacked Jump City. After some effort of heroism, the bad guy was defeated and the good guys stood triumphant.

But then why did her legs feel so weak?

In the aftermath of the battle, Robin had rushed immediately to Starfire. Nothing too out of the ordinary. She was their leader. She cared for them all. Though when she grabbed her from the pile of ink they did the unthinkable. They had kissed.

The rain served to hide her tears well. Raven had many years to learn how to hide her emotions, so it was easy to not show her teammates the turmoil she was experiencing.

Eventually, they returned home. Secretly, she already teleported herself back to her room when they were somewhere over the ocean. After her portal had closed her bottled emotions opened. Tears in amounts she never thought possible came forth. Yells and screams at the unfairness. Hate. Anger. Jealousy. Sadness. Dejection. Any and every emotion she could feel poured out of her. Unintentionally parts of the tower also felt this hurricane of emotions. Windows in random hallways. Dishes in the cabinets. Through practice, she had learned to tone down the random destruction her emotions could cause but that was enough at this time.

Both Robins' and Starfires' rooms were trashed equally. It wasn't fair to her. She had an emotional connection to her. They had things in common. She knew her name. But Starfire just gets to be and wins his affection. It was not fair.

If she were a lesser person she would take these negative feelings out on them but she was better than that. She practiced control for this reason and in control, she would be.

When her team eventually returned they were surprised by the rampant vandalism. Luckily, no one had noticed Ravens' departure from the ship. So it was chocked it to some villain somehow sneaking in without realizing they had left. She had teleported to the landing pad to feign surprise with them and any remarks to her somewhat disheveled appearance were met with ignorance.

At this moment she was a glass on the edge. A push, no matter how slight, would push her off the edge. It took all her effort to not lean off the edge. But it didn't matter what she wanted. Again reminded of those two. Star was attached to her and she was smiling as if there were no wrong in the world. The emotions struggling to release themselves and Raven trying her hardest to push them down proved to be too much for her. And so she fell.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Waking in a familiar room there was calm. Until she remembered. Her barely bottled emotions had exploded but in a twist of fate, she had fainted. She was lucky. Sitting up her head was assaulted by a splitting headache.

"How are you feeling?"

There was a hand on her shoulder. It was a familiar comfort she had grown to like coming from her but now it felt wrong. She shrugged it off and turned from her.