(2) Hurts So Good.

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Almost is never enough ~ Ariana Grande

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Almost is never enough ~ Ariana Grande

Is he just going to stare? Bird got your tongue, sir? "Hey, Baby." –and nope, motherfucker can still talk. He steps closer in an attempt to kiss my cheek and with a yelp, I jump back. It attracts a few concerned stares and I reassure the by-passers that I'm fine. I'm stunned myself, aggravated that he thinks he can call me 'Baby' and everything will go back to the way it was.

I eye him with a disgusted face and take in his appearance. At least he hasn't lost his looks, still devilishly handsome. He's dressed in his usual attire of a three-piece suit, dark grey, and a trench coat, black. His heart-shaped face is defined by his cheekbones and framed by his hard jawline. I notice how his hair is a little longer now, he could probably put it in a bun. His beard is much fuller but still clean and neatly trimmed.

Someone has clearly been frequently riding his face.

He clears his throat and I realise I haven't responded. I move my curls over my shoulder and peer into his green eyes before awarding him with somewhat of an answer. "Yes?" I'm proud of how strong my voice sounds as I'd be lying if I said bumping into the man I thought was my soulmate year's ago wasn't a little unnerving.

I realise then that the coffee cup in his hand resembles the one in my grasp. I reach out and turn it to see the brand matching. Was he standing behind me the whole time I was in the café?

That seems like some Tobias shit.

"Have you been following me, Tobias?" The redness that creeps up his tattooed neck confirms my theory.
My phone pings as my driver pulls up to my left. "Can we talk Baby?" Opening the car door I pause, looking into his eyes to see that he looks broken and empty. I sigh before giving a heartfelt response.
"Nope." I slam the car door and settle on the premium leather, the car pulls away from the curb and I watch his physique disappear through the side mirror.

Driving to my apartment, the anger in my stomach brews but I put it out with another sip of coffee. At least I got the closure I wanted years ago. By the look on his face, he must have been notified that I never touched another man through our time together. I haven't touched another to this day.

How dare he?
He destroyed me.
I wept for weeks on my fathers' shoulders, going through a sequence of emotions.
Hurt.
Betrayal.
Disappointment.
That one's the kicker. It was the icing on the cake. He wouldn't even let me speak, he just threw me out like a cheap pickup. I couldn't sleep, every time I closed my eyes I remembered his words. "You disgust me." They bounce off the panels of my mind. That sentence lit my skin ablaze. I became so much lighter as I struggled to keep food down.

I almost went mute again.

The thing is when you try to express yourself and no one will let you, there's an overwhelming feeling to never speak again. Almost like no one deserves to hear your voice. But in other cases it's not about punishing other people, it's about protecting yourself. Making sure your voice could never be used against you ever again. I haven't felt that way since I was six. Well, up until he used his words to rip me to shreds.
After I left his home, I packed my bags and fled Dallas. My Skims shoot was up anyways, he was the only reason I had to stay. I lost him that day, so I bought a ticket right back to London.

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