I had this best friend. She didn't live in my state. I told her everything. I couldn't keep anything from her. She got very depressed one day. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong. She got suicidal a few days later, she even cut herself. One night she said she wanted to kill herself. I stopped her that night, and a dozen times after. Then one night when she was like that again, she wouldn't listen to me. She hung herself after getting drunk because she wanted to drink her pain away. But this time it didn't work..she hung herself from a tree in her backyard. I didn't go to the funeral. After she died, it just made me worse emotionally. Last year in November, this guy I dated on and off, that we both never got over feelings for eachother, killed himself. I stopped him a lot of times before. I still regret everything I did...I blame myself for part of the reason he did it. After the two, I distanced myself from people, even my friends. I refused to open up. To this day, my depression has increased so much. I have a boyfriend who doesn't live in my state, yet I love him very much. He's the one person that if I lost him, I would die-literally. I really can't lose him. I have a few best friends. But I still don't open up as much as I used to. I'm so far down in my depression, I don't see hope of saving me. Nobody really helps me, and they don't see how bad I truly am. Some people don't believe a word I'm saying. Which is their mistake, not mine.
