Buried deep

Chapter one

The rain pelted us, as we stood outside around the grave, listening in silence as the priest gave his oration. My tears mingled with the rain. I let them flow, none could see I was crying. Oppisite me stood her mother, crying into the chest of her eldest son, James. He held her tightly, solemnly watching the casket as it awaited its time for the final descent. He looked smart in his army uniform and cropped hair. In a years time I too would wear that uniform, as many other boys my age would. I hated compulsory army training.

When this funeral was done I knew he would go back to the border, where Death could have engraved a bullet with his name. I shudder at that thought, who would want to look at a grave now and then go back to the border, only to be sent back home in a casket, to a spot next to his sister? This bloody world is cruel!

My eyes strayed to the right, where the younger brother David, stood alone, cast out. His wet blonde hair plastered to his face. It made him look like a miserable wet cat and he had reason to be, he was and is his fathers son. The sight of him made my temperature rise, so I averted my gaze. I prayed to a God I did not worship, that he would one day get his comeuppance. Spoiled rotten, this fourteen year old, looked and acted like his father. His eldest brother and sister both had dark brown hair like their mother, but his was blonde like his fathers. All I could think of was, that he was a little shit!

I scanned the crowd, saw the faces of my two friends Roger and Slash, as well as a few acquaintances and their families. I knew practically everyone, except the priest. There was one glaringly obvious person who was not there...her father, a dark detestable soul of a person. I sure as hell did not miss him. At the thought of him the rain came down harder, drenching me further. Everyone else sheltered under their umbrellas, avoiding most of the downpour.

The priest concluded his lengthy sermon and asked us all to pray. All save Slash and myself closed our eyes. I know God exists, I choose not to worship him, Slash on the other hand, calling him an athiest is mild. When the Swedes started burning churches, he almost followed suit. It took some convincing to make him postpone that urge. Once on the border, some churches were going to burn and it would not be the work of the terrorists we would be fighting. Slash worried me sometimes, but today...he was here for me.

The scowl on my face as the priest prayed, brought a wry smile to Slash's face, he would never give up on trying to make me see the light, that God was a myth, that the earth was an accident in creation. No divine power would have created a world, where a sixteen year old girl, could be killed in such a horrible manor.

Sadly I smiled back and waited for the priest to finish up. The amen commenced the lowering of the casket. I could feel the bond I shared with Shirley slowly stretching, pulling into the ground. Soon she would be in the earths embrace, as the worms and ilk, feast upon her. Gone forever from my side. No more would I hold her hands or feel her soft lips on mine. No more would I be able to look into her eyes and see the love she felt for me. No more...there would only be emptiness, my only companion would be that bastard called loneliness!

I watched the casket sink into the ground and as I heard the wet thud as it touched the bottom, my heart followed suit. Tears flowed freely from my unyielding eyes, no dam would have stayed the flood. I watched as Shirley's mother threw the first clump of soil onto the casket, beginning the final closure, followed by her son, James. I watched as he placed himself between the hole, the gaping black hole in the earth, and his younger brother, barring his way. David would not have the honour of casting soil onto her casket, not for what he himself did.

I awaited my chance to throw a clod of soil in and when my turn came, I added a pure white orchid with it. Her favorite flower, a small token but one she would appreciate. I stepped off to the side and watched everyone leave, save the two brothers, the one staring at the workers as they filled the hole closed and the other standing twenty feet away glowering at his brothers back.

Where once a hole stood, was a mound of earth with a marker proclaiming to the world, here lies Shirley Fowler, beloved daughter and sister to the Fowler family. She will be sorely missed. No where on that damned stone was there any mention of our love! I listened as James barked at David to get in the car and waited till the car drove away.

Then I screamed, a primal heart rending scream, I sent up to the heavens, where I hoped God would be sitting. I wanted him to hear my pain, feel my loss. As the scream in my throat subsided and was replaced by hoarse pain, I looked once more upon her new home. A single ray of light struck forth from the sky, striking upon the grave. All around the rain continued to fall unabated. I raised my eyes heavenwards once more and watched as the ray of light disppeared.

My faith in God was bolstered at that moment. Slash and Roger crept up on me, as I let the beauty of that moment overwhelm me. Slash placed his hand upon my shoulder, bringing me back to reality, I looked up and what he said made me laugh, not because it was funny, but more because it was poignant.

"Dude, just for today, I will say, that was her going up to heaven to be with God." With that being said, we departed. That day I left a part of my heart behind, a part that will always be with her. She was my first love. I will pen the events that led to the saddest day of my life, as I do not wish it to die with me.

Roger, Slash and I are in the army now, serving on the border, fighting for our lives. We are outnumbered, out gunned and running low on everything. Our only hope is for reinforcements, but the shit has hit the fan, no one expected this voracious attack and everything is in disarray, as command tries to bring sanity back to the front lines. We are last on their priority list and are expedient, replacable!

Who knows, I might see my love sooner than I thought but I am not ready to die yet. I am not just fighting for myself, I am fighting for Roger and Slash, I cannot just give up. We three musketeers, we will go down fighting for each other, try to save each other.

So I will pass the time, when I am not being shot at, to pen my tale, one of happiness found, embraced fleetingly and ripped away to soon at the end.