I'll find you in the afterlife (SKZ AU fanfic)

Insecurities

Beep...beep...beep

"I'm sorry! The number you dialed is unavailable for now"

Jisung let the phone fall in the bed and sat down at his desk, with no idea what to believe. Minho didn't answer his calls that day.

He knew he was busy, but still...they were both idols. They were both busy. Yet Jisung had time to call him everyday when they didn't have practice or events with the whole group.

They were the first to get together and no one was surprised. They fell in love with each other the moment they met. Everyone noticed. They did. So they started a relationship.

Didn't even try to hide it. It was obvious they were into each other.

But the thing with Minho was that he wasn't the type to show his feelings. So there were moments...even though Jisung didn't want to admit...when Minho was giving him mixed messages.

Sometimes he was backing off afraid for the members to see the both of them.

Jisung was insecure about so many things and seeing Minho avoiding eye contact or not answering the phone made him doubt his love.

Was he too ugly? Was he too clingy? Was he too childish?

He was looking in the mirror cursing every inch of his body. He didn't like himself, so why would Minho do?

He felt neglected, but in the same time he was afraid he was overreacting. He didn't know who to blame.

Was all in his head? Was it reality? Was he going mad? He couldn't tell.

When the night came, Minho entered the room and noticed the lights were off. He switched them on revealing an empty room.

-Jisung?

He started panicking when he didn't find the boy in the bathroom. He looked through the house alarming every member. He wasn't there.

He tried calling him, but Jisung's phone was thrown on the bed. Then he noticed the number of missing calls from the younger.

-Shit! he cursed under his breath.

He ran to the exit and proceeded to sprint to the only place he knew he would find Jisung.

-Jisung! Jisung! he started yelling through the halls of the studio.

He slammed the door open of the Chan's studio and found Jisung cruled up into a ball on Chan's couch.

Minho let out a relief sigh.

-Jisung, you scared me...

The latter didn't answer. It took a moment for Minho to hear the sobs. The older kneeled down to look up at Jisung and took his hands in his owns.

-Hey, hey! Look at me! What's wrong?

Jisung's hands were shaking and his breathing was unsteady. He was having a panick attack, but Minho was no starter to that.

-Sungie, breath with me, ok? Minho placed Jisung's hand on his own chest to make him find the pace of breathing.

After Jisung calmed down, Minho started rubbing his cheek with his thumb.

-What did I do to make you cry like that?

-You didn't answer. I thought something awful happened to you, said Jisung through the sobs. I thought you don't like me anymore. I thought...he almost chocked in his tears.

-I'm sorry! I didn't see the calls. I was actually doing something for you.

-You are always distant. I have to guess your thoughts every time. But I am tired. I am tired, Minho... There are moments when you cuddle with me, then the next moment you avoid me. It's frustrating. Do you not like me? Did I push you into this relationship?