My Single Life

Let's get a back story

Okay so how I got to being single may be a good start .
It started with a covid lockdown really, my ex forgot my birthday. Not even a card through the door, I should of known my worth then but apparently not ✌️. Anyways by my 21st birthday a couple in my friendship group broke up and ideas came up in my mind but me and ex was in a good place we was looking at houses to move out into so I thought it was just cold feet.
But since the couple broke up I wanted to make sure they was okay, hanging out with them separately and my ex would hang out with the guy.
Anyways me and my friend Beth worked together at tesco and started getting closer and closer. We was more or less constantly together when the third lock down came into place. So we started going on nights out once the lockdown lifted, since she was single we constantly had guys surrounding us in clubs ... Well acca. The first time a boy tried to dance with me I got scared I felt bad even. But it slowly became less of a big deal i just wouldn't kiss them or let them do anything inappropriate.
But one time a guy kissed me when I was off guard and i remembered the times my ex had cheated (we'll get into that in a bit) so I kissed him back but when i stopped i felt guilty i ran to the bathroom. And debated what i did, that was the moment I realized it wasn't gonna work with him but we'd just moved in together so I wanted to try.
Me and my friend was going out every week sometimes twice a week, it was hot girl summer after all. I continued to dance with the random boys kiss them occasionally but nothing further. I convinced myself it was fine a revenge almost against my ex for what he'd done maybe evening the score. Oh yes into the cheating he'd done, this is everything I knew of but god knows he may kf got smarter or god know what he got up to during lockdown since we never saw each other barely sexed which would make me believe he must if been entertaining himself elsewhere.
It started slowly I went on his phone and saw a app I'd never heard of (I wasn't even suspicious of him I was going to play a game), so I checked it out and saw he'd messaged a bunch of women I think there must of been at least 5 one of which he'd given her his Snapchat (I was 18 and dumb at the time okay?) So discussed it with him, he somehow convinced me he thought it was normal? Thought it was okay to do since they wasn't here he didn't physically touch. I fell for it I believed him, I was told he wouldn't do it again.
Later in the year maybe a year later, I saw he had messages off a few girls but ones i knew of so i went to open it since I some how trusted him. My heartbroke I saw the messages sexting these girls, ones who knew we was dating, girls who knew me, I went to school with one of them had classes with her. Honestly I don't know how we stayed together after that one, I never wanted to be home I guess and thought it was the lesser of two evils.

My mum and brother argued all the time I couldn't do it. My brother is trans my mum couldn't understand it.