Lost In The Fire | Spencer Reid

24. The Way You Love Her

Becca made her way slowly up the stairs of Spencer's apartment building, her heart pounding in her chest, unsure of how he would be when she walked through the door.

She had spent a couple of hours sitting in the coffee shop down the street from his building, her head spinning, scolding herself for letting things get so out of control. She hadn't meant what Spencer had heard, but she knew that she'd pushed him too hard considering what he was going through.

After buying two strong take-out coffees and practically filling one of them with sugar, she'd made her way back out into the cold and to Spencer's apartment. She paused hesitantly at his door, the key poised against the lock as she took a deep breath. After a few seconds, she pushed the key into the lock, turning it and walking inside, greeted only by silence.

"Spencer?" She called out, but there was no response. She closed the door gently behind her and headed towards the kitchen, the coffee cups hot against her cold skin.

She startled as she saw Spencer's tall figure in the bedroom doorway. He looked like he'd just got out of the shower, his chest bare, low hanging grey joggers hanging from his hips.

"Jeez, you scared me," she chuckled. He walked towards her, his bare feet padding soundlessly against the wooden floor. As he reached her, he took the cups from her hands, putting them down on the countertop, not once looking away from her as she took a nervous breath. "Spence, I'm sorry..." she began. He shook his head.

"I'm sorry too," he said softly. "I shouldn't have reacted like that. I just need you to understand..."

"I do," she interrupted, taking his face in her hands, gently stroking his cheeks. "I just got excited and carried away. I shouldn't have sprung it on you like that and expected you to drop everything. I do understand how much your life here means to you, especially right now, and I promise I will be waiting whenever the time comes that you're ready to make your decision." He smiled sadly, his eyes glimmering softly in the dim light of the apartment. He took her hands in his own, gently kissing the back of her fingers before lowering their hands to their sides.

"I do love you, you know that, right?" She smiled, nodding her head as she reached out to him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist and pulling him tight to her.

"I love you too," she whispered softly as his hands came back to her cheeks, lifting her lips to his and kissing her tenderly. She smiled up at him as he pulled away from her, pushing a stray hair behind her ear. She nodded at the cups of coffee, still sitting on the countertop. "Drink your coffee before it gets cold, I'll be back in a minute," she told him as she turned and made her way to the bathroom, closing the door softly behind her. She paused, running her hand across her face as she took a deep breath.

Luckily, her body moved faster than her brain, and she managed to make it to the toilet before she began to be sick, her stomach spasming, eyes watering.

She heard the door opening behind her as she finished, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Becks, are you ok?" Spencer asked worriedly as he made his way to her side, helping her up from the cold tile floor. She nodded, sighing loudly as she turned to face him.

"God, I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from," she chuckled weakly, her legs shaking beneath her.

"Could you be coming down with something?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "Maybe something I've eaten, it came on pretty suddenly."

"Come and lie down, I'll get you some water," he fussed as he sat her down gently on the side of the bed.

By the time he came back, she had tucked herself up beneath the covers. He watched her for a few seconds, her chest rising and falling slowly, and he realised she'd already fallen asleep. He put the glass of water down gently on the bedside cabinet and bent down, gently kissing her forehead before leaving the room.

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When Becca woke, the room around her was dark, the curtains blocking out the light from the street. She propped herself up onto her elbows, looking around the room.

She could hear voices in the living room, Spencer talking to another man. Suddenly she placed the voice as Derek and smiled tiredly, sitting up and taking a sip from the water Spencer had left her before slowly swinging her legs out of bed and making her way towards the door.

Her hand found the doorknob in the low light, but she hesitated as she heard the conversation from the next room.

"Kid, I understand where you're coming from, I do," Derek said insistently. "But you're looking at it the wrong way. I know you hate change, but don't look at it as giving up your life. Look at it as starting a new one."

"You think I haven't tried?" Spencer said, frustration laced in his words. "This isn't just about me not liking change, this is so much bigger than that. You guys are my family. The BAU is my home. You've been the constant that I've needed my entire life, and the thought of leaving it all behind..." He hesitated, his voice wavering.

"Ok," Derek sighed. "There's got to be a way for you two to get through this. Pretty boy, the way you love her? That's rare. One way or another, you need to fight for your lady, you hear me? Ok then. Look, I better get going, or I'm going to be in trouble with MY lady," Derek laughed. "Say hi to Becca for me when she wakes up. What happened with her anyway?"

Becca could hear heavy footsteps moving away from her, presumably towards the door.

"She thinks she's eaten something bad, she just got nauseous out of nowhere," Spencer explained.

"Well let's hope that's all it is, I think I speak for everyone when I say the world is not ready for baby geniuses," Derek laughed.

"It's not that, she's on birth control," Spencer chuckled.

"Not one hundred percent effective my friend," Derek laughed again as she heard the door opening. "I'll catch up with you later. Take it easy."

Becca heard the front door close gently followed by footsteps making their way towards her. Panicking, she ran back to the bed and climbed quickly back beneath the covers just as the door swung open.

"Are you awake?" Spencer asked softly.

"Yeah, I am," she smiled tiredly.

"How are you feeling?" He asked as he sat down beside her on the bed, stroking her cheek gently.

"Much better. Did I hear the door?"

"It was just Derek," he told her. "I was supposed to be meeting him for coffee but I didn't want to leave you on your own so he came here instead."

"Aw I'm sorry to have missed him," she said as she sat up. "I'd have been fine you know," she smiled.

"You never know," he muttered. "Anyway, it looks like we only have a couple more days together before you need to fly home so I'm not letting you out of my sight," he smiled. "You feel like eating?"

"No," she sighed. "I could murder a coffee though. And I really need to freshen up," she laughed.

"Ok, I'll get the coffee ready and we can settle down and watch a movie or something. You sure you're ok?" She nodded. "I love you," he told her gently as he stood up, gently kissing the top of her head before walking away.

Climbing from the bed, she made her way into the bathroom and grabbed her toothbrush from the sink.

As she brushed her teeth, she looked up, meeting her own eyes in the mirror, pausing for a moment as she remembered Derek's words. 'Not one hundred percent effective'. Shaking her head, she spat out the toothpaste and wiped her mouth.

No, she told herself. That can't be it. The last thing she heard before she left the bathroom was her own voice in her head, whispering two words... Could it?