New Year's Eve

CHAPTER 10

Helena

I couldn't find my place all day. I was upset by the fact that Marcel hadn't told me anything about his departure. I was afraid of being abandoned again. So I decided to be the first to put an end to our relationship. I made up that call. I thought he'd let me go without asking too many questions. I'd probably have run away if it hadn't been for Marcel's call. He seemed so lost and broken during the call. And I suddenly felt really selfish. All I could think about was how I felt and how I would be left with a broken heart again. I didn't even think about Marcel's feelings the whole time. If he didn't tell me he was leaving, it didn't mean the guy was going to say goodbye to me in English. I mean, he might have had his reasons for not telling me right away. And if he didn't, it wouldn't matter. Either way, I'm going to suffer. But even the realization of that fact doesn't stop me. I want everything he can give me. To spend as much time with him as possible.

In my thoughts, I don't notice how evening comes. I seem to lose half my nerve cells in a day. You know, many people think that psychologists have a perfect life with no worries and no problems. But this is an absolute lie. If we help others to cope with problems, it does not mean that we can cope with our own. Fixing other people's fates is much easier than dealing with your own life. A surgeon can't fix his own tooth just because he went to medical school. I think you know what I mean.

So when I think of Marcel, I can't assess the situation properly. At the same time I fear and long for this evening.

In the end, I realized that I was only making things worse for myself. Even if it will be our last night together, I want to spend it happily and joyfully. Marcel should remain in my memory as a joyful ray of light.

A man knocked on the door of my room at nine o'clock sharp. When I see him all the bad thoughts instantly vanish. He looks stunning. In blue jeans and a navy blue sweater. His coat is unbuttoned and this allows me to admire the man's sculpted body. I think I've missed him for the time we've been apart. I want to cuddle into Marcel's arms and not let him go.

As we drive along, Marcel tells me about today, his niece, and other little things. I listen without interrupting. I admire his profile. I try to remember every feature of his face. Time begins to go so fast that I don't even notice how we manage to get to Marcel's house.

His apartment is unrecognizable.

"When did you have time to do everything?", I am surprised as I enter the spacious room.

"Do you like it, Marshmallow?", he smiles, hugging me from behind by the waist.

"I didn't think you were such a romantic", I turn around in his arms and give him a gentle kiss, "I'm madly in love with everything."

I wish I didn't. The whole apartment shines with colorful New Year's Eve lights, and the smell of fresh pine is in the air. I hear muffled music in the living room.

"Let's go", when we get rid of our clothes, Marcel takes my hand and leads me inside.

When we walk into the living room, it takes my breath away. The lights inside are off, but there are small candles everywhere. A small table in the middle of the room was neatly arranged and also decorated with candles. And cushions were placed around it for comfort.

"Did you do all this yourself?", I look at my man with admiration. No one has ever done anything like that for me.

"To be honest, I had a little help", he hides his look, and I can't stop smiling.

"That's great, honey."

Our gazes meet, and I can see how pleased Marcel is to hear those words. He studies my face for a few minutes, trying to figure out if I'm being honest, and then gives me the most gorgeous kiss.