CJA + ALC

Chapter 3

We had stayed up until four in the morning playing games, we were all exhausted, ready to fall asleep on the first vaguely horizontal surface we come in contact with. We finally decided that it was time to sleep after we fell into hysterical laughter over Ash falling out of her chair.

After a few minutes of us shuffling around each other upstairs, we managed to settle down in our separate rooms, the tension in my back releasing as my body prepares itself to sleep. The blanket of silence that comes when everyone in a house is asleep fills the air.

I lay silently, my mind racing with everything that's happened in the past twenty-four hours. I came to California, riding next to the literal spawn of Satan on the plane, heard that my best-friend-backslash-crush is possibly going to ask me out, took a nap, and then spent the past eight hours playing every single game that exists in this house. I lost at all of them because I wasn't fully able to focus on them; I was staring at CJ the whole time, trying to memorize all of the angles and every mark on his face, the freckles and moles, the bags that grew under his eyes as time went on and we ran more on caffeine than sleep, the shape of his nose, resembling that of a bunny, how big his eyes are and the deep, forest green of his irises. 

I rolled onto my side and stare at the wall, a patch of light shining on it from the window, illuminating the bright cobalt blue.

What if I ask CJ out first? Could I do that? But what if he wasn't talking about me? What if he was talking about someone who recently moved here? Where would I even take him? I don't know this city! I don't know what there is to do around here! I know that if you go west eventually you'll reach the beach eventually, but I don't  know how far that is. 

These thoughts fill my head, making it impossible to sleep. I groan lightly, and pull the pillow over my head. I just want to sleep! I kick my legs in frustration, like a little kid throwing a tantrum. I roll over again, looking at one of my books I put on the bedside table, trying to decide if I should start reading it or not. I sit up and grab the book before turning on the lamp that sits on the small table. 

Chapter 1

What most parents don't understand about childhood and teenage years is that it's important to explore gender and sexual identity. My parents, being white, republican, and as homophobic as one person can be, fit in with the common crowd, I have been hiding myself from them since I came to the realization that I am a pansexual agender.

I nod at how much I identify with this character, not with the specifics on the sexuality or gender identity. I mean, being bisexual is pretty easy to hide for the most part, but I've never liked hiding myself from people that I'm close to. My parents kicked me when I came out to them. telling me how I'm a disgrace to the family name or whatever.

From what I've been told, CJ and Ash didn't have it any better. CJ's parents left him alone, traveling all over the world without him, almost never came home, and when they did it was to repack or pay the taxes. They gave him money for food and clothes, but it was very little, so that they couldn't be accused of child neglect.

Ash was kicked out of her house when she told her parents that she was trans. They refused to pay for her hormone supplements, and told her to leave before they sold her shit online. Her father also said "I didn't raise my son to be a tranny, get out you fag."

I put the book down, since it wasn't doing jack shit to calm me down, and turn the light off before laying back down and staring at the ceiling until I fell asleep.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Good morning, sunshine!" CJ cries as he enters my room, immediately walking over to the window and opening the curtains. "It's a beautiful day and we're going to go exploring in the city after you eat the breakfast that I made for you so get your ass out of bed before I drag it out," he walks over to my bed and rips the blanket off of me, I whine in protest.