The Vampire Diaries Reviews💋

Love, Pierce

                               Review #37                                              
  
                     Written By: kween913

   Reviewed By: dallas1213 aka Katherine.

Cover:

When I see the cover, I personally don't love it. Rather as the cover you have posted in the prologue, I love the details of that cover more and I feel it fits the story better. 

And the book title is barely even noticeable and that's not good. Overall, I think the cover needs to either be edited or switched out.  

Title:

The title is nice I just wish there were more chapters available so that I could see if it fits the story. But with that being said, I think the title is creative. 

Description:

The short description you give us, isn't very helpful in four-shadowing the story. I honesty would actually recommend rewriting it. But it is just my personal opinion, and, in the end, it is up to you.  

Side Note: I may even suggest that you take some of what you wrote in the prologue and use it for the description as it four-shadowed more than the actual description. 

Genre:

Once again there weren't enough chapters to honesty deem if the book fits the genre.

Prologue:

Your first letter, which is an L is in the font black and only the letter L. Is that a grammar mistake? If not in my personal opinion I think you should have the whole word in one font as it can distract the readers from fully understanding and enjoying each word. 

In the sentence, "The live us just the way we are." You put 'live' instead of 'love', nothing to stress about it's just a simple grammar mistake. Side note, you also put 'the live us just the way we are.' Rather as instead of 'the' you need to put 'they'. 

In total the prologue was written well and only needs to be edited. I may even suggest hiring an editor as it can help you and therefore you won't get distracted from writing. The very last few sentences were written very well and from reading those few sentences' I get a clear idea of what the story has in store for the readers. 

The Cast Chapter:

Personally, I would suggest not having a cast chapter instead what I do is every time a new character is in introduced, I post the mood bored of them in the chapter therefore it saves space in the book and instead of the readers having to flip back to a chapter if they forget what the character looks like, they can simply scroll up and see the mood bored. Also, you want to take into account when your book gets published that you won't be able to have a chapter just for mood bored so it's a good idea to learn to not always have them. 

Side Note: Also, don't have a mood bored for all the characters, instead only have them of the main characters and you don't want to have more than five main characters in one book.

Chapter One:

As a person who has struggled with Anxiety my entire life, I can understand what the Quints are going through.

But furthermore, the chapter is lacking details. You have enough to where I feel slightly connected to the characters but not enough where I can whole heartedly fall in love with them. And yes, I know this is the first chapter, but you must remember if your readers don't connect within the first three chapters, they won't continue to read the story.  And therefore, I will suggest you use a tip I use every time I write, and it's called, 'Don't tell me, show me' and what that basically means is that instead of directly telling me what is going on, show me through the details what is happening. Make the readers fall in love with the words on the paper instead of telling them to love it. Does that make sense?