Footprints on Sand

Eight [B]: Lapses

Khushi woke up with a splitting headache, and nausea bubbling up inside her all while Aarav slept soundlessly next to her. After sleeping on a king-sized bed for the past five months, the mattress and size of Aarav's twin bed made sleeping uncomfortable to a degree she wasn't happy in acknowledging. She would have continued sleeping with Devayani, or taken the either of the guest rooms previously occupied by Lavanya, and Nanhe ji, or the three other furnished rooms of the house that were locked with nothing occupying them, but somehow her feet would bring her to the edge of her marriage bed every night. Conveniently, Aarav's room was a step down the same hallway as hers and Arnav, and ending up falling asleep while listening to his stories of Aarav or narrating her own to him was the best alternative.

She headed towards the bathroom to splash some water on her face. The cold water did nothing for neither the headache nor nausea. She stepped out and looked at the clock after seeing barely a hint of light outside the windows. It was barely dawn and she couldn't find it in herself to go to bed again. She decided to head downstairs.

Perhaps fresh air would do her some good.

Khushi didn't like acknowledging it, but she was scared of the dark. She hated the absence of moonlight or the disappearance of stars. She hated everything succumbing to darkness, and the sunlight refusing to cast its rays. She hated that she couldn't just wake him up in the middle of the night when it was too dark anymore, and she hated that the lamps on the wall were switched off before the house staff retired to their own quarters. So when she stood at the top of the stairs with barely anything to guide her down them, she couldn't figure out whether she should cry or run back to bed where her son slept.

She gulped and gathered her wits. Her hand reached towards the wall, holding onto it while slowly taking steps down the stairs. It took a good few minutes until she was downstairs when she realized that she could've easily used the phone she left in Aarav's room for its flashlight.

"Tu poori pagal hai Khushi!" [You're crazy Khushi] She mumbled under her breath before finally finding a switch for one of the wall lamps.

With one lampworking, she finally figured out a way towards the kitchen. "Aik toh yeh ghar nahi, Mahal hai! Aik jaga se dusri jagah jaane mein char saal lag jatein hain!" [This isn't a house, it's a palace. Takes four years to go from one end to the other.]

Her grumbling found itself coming to a halt the moment she found a box full of roasted chickpeas. Her hands grabbed the tupperware with both hands and left the cabinet door open as she roamed around the house to find a way toward the gardens that surrounded the estate. The moment the fresh air touched her face, Khushi felt a sense of peace fill her up. She didn't turn back to close the door of the house, leaving it ajar without a thought in her head. The smell of morning dew and slow twilight filling up the sky directed her towards the lawn chair she had stood next to a few hours ago. She seated herself, her legs crossed underneath her bottom while she leaned on the armrest of the chair.

The box of chickpeas sat on the patio table before her all while she continued to stare at the changing colors of the sky. This is what she hoped for last night. After a day of fighting, of him dodging her, and then looking at her the way he did, she wanted to walk away. But he had followed her, and they found themselves walking in circles around one another.

Khushi let out a sigh and felt her eyes closing. Her head leaned against the back of the chair, and his words echoed in her mind. "What if I never remember you?" That's what he said. Verbatim. Her eyes opened slowly to take in the vastness of the sky above her. How could it be that a world as big as it was finding in itself a way to go day in and out existed all while the skies stayed still? How was it the violet hues of the twilight found a way to enamor daily despite never changing and how was it the skies and Gods above them saw everything below but they let the chaos wreck this world while theirs remained the same? It wasn't fair that her world kept turning upside down on a whims notice but the skies held themselves up the same way they did the day before.