form follows heart /jungri

vi. an unwanted bullseye

a/n: the past two weeks have been really tough but i made it past with a kinda bad chap but i tried my best! haha! hopefully i follow my schedule again:')

Yerim had known her mom's main caretaker for almost three years, yet every time Yerim saw Joy, she was blown away by her model-like charisma and looks. She was tall, curvy in all the right places, and had a smile and stare that could knock anyone off their feet. She navigated life with a grace only fit for ballerinas: a positive attitude, a hopeful heart, and a fire that refused to die even with the stuff she dealt with everyday.

Yerim had asked her one day, "How do you do that?"

Joy laughed, fluffing a pillow and replying, "I think I'm cool."

Self-confidence, Yerim thought, feeding a piece of mango to her mom, who was studiously staring at a bird chirping outside the window. Easier said than done, unfortunately.

"How has she been doing?" Yerim asked now.

"Just as great as before." Joy looked out the window, at the clear blue sky and bright sun. "We took a walk today."

Yerim perked up, tucking the blanket tighter around her mom, who was currently sleeping. "Really?" Her mom looked so normal in this position, like Yerim could wake her up with a problem and she would have a solution for her ready. Her mom, the greatest escape artist; there was no lock she couldn't solve.

Joy nodded, beaming. "Yep, for an hour, too!" She glanced at Yerim's mom, affection softening her eyes. "It did take a toll on her, but she was so happy."

Yerim's heart sank and flew at the same time. It was always a tug of war, hearing these things. On one hand, she was remembering the memories that came with a stroll in the park: chasing ducks on a Sunday morning, dangling off the monkey bars, and having picnics everytime new flowers bloomed in the warm embrace of spring. On the other hand, she regretted not being able to experience these new things with her mom. It was a tradeoff: earn money and pay for her mom's long term care, or take care of her mom and be in loads of debt.

Nonetheless, Yerim smiled. "Thank you again."

"Yeah, of course. So, how have you been doing?"

Sighing, Yerim shook her head. "Horrible."

"Tell me about it."

"I somehow entered this fake-dating thing and-"

"What?!" Joy slapped a hand over her mouth. In a quieter voice, she gasped, "Fake-dating? With who? And how?"

Yerim grimaced. "It's a long story."

Joy literally jumped out of her skin. "I have some time to spare. Tell me about it."

As Yerim explained what had happened, Joy's face morphed from shock to delight to confusion. When Yerim finished, she pursed her lips, looking at Yerim like she had just killed her mom. "I can't believe you agreed to the deal."

Yerim winced. "Me too."

"Are you doing this for your mom?"

"Partly."

Joy slowly nodded. "Don't work yourself too hard, though."

"I know."

Joy walked to where Yerim was sitting before giving her head a light tap. "Actually listen to me."

Yerim laughed, grabbing Joy's hand and squeezing. "I am. Don't worry."

"Alright." Joy's voice was soft. The waning sun rays that penetrated the semi-blinded window casted undilated shadows and waves on her face, softening her higher cheekbones and more angular face shape. "I love what you're doing, but you also have to rest. If your mom is what you described her to be, then she wouldn't be mad, so you shouldn't be guilty."