Love is Enough

Chapter Eight: Broken People

**Warning: This chapter contains: blood/gore, suicide and talks of drug use. Please don't read if it will trigger you--you can always message me and I will give you a cliff notes version that does not contain specifics.**

H A R L E Y

It was Friday and Mari was going to be over in about an hour.

I laid on my bed, holding the blue envelope from my Dad, above my head. I wanted to open it so bad, to see what he was going to say. At the same time, guilt gripped me like an iron vise. What will is say? Will it be bad? Will it be words of encouragement?

Only one way to find out...

The envelope opened easily, and I pulled out a piece of pale, tan paper.

I saw my father's scrawling cursive, and my heart leaped, eyes quickly starting to scan.

My Dearest Harley,

First I need to apologize.

There was no excuse for my actions and it absolutely tears my soul to shreds knowing you saw that. I was so hurt and so far gone I thought it was okay—that taking all those pills would fix everything for you and your mom. Therapy has really helped me realize how that's never the answer and I wish I had gone to it sooner.

Your mom said school is going well and that makes me incredibly happy. I guess part of the reason I spiraled so hard is because I saw you spiraling and couldn't do anything about it. I thought you blamed me for the accident and for me robbing you of your favorite sport. I was an awful parent—I should have gotten you help too. (Look, I know it's uncomfortable to talk about, but if you need addiction counseling or any kind of counseling aside from family therapy, I will happily help you with that.) You know you are the most important person to me and your mother.

And on that note, I would like to hope you understand that I want to stay here for another few months. I never realized how much I've shoved down deep and how's it's effected me. When I'm better, I'll tell you about my childhood, only in effort to explain why I went off the rails after the accident—not to excuse it. There is no excuse but I feel I owe you an explanation.

Okay I've said what I feel is necessary. Please know honey, I love you. I love you more than you will ever know, dear. You will always be my sidekick, my partner in crime. I will always be proud of your accomplishments and support you in any decisions regarding your future.

Love,
Dad

Tears streamed down my face, as I sucked in a breath, trying to clear my racing thoughts. I don't think guilt will ever leave me. Regardless of the explanation, of his side, I will always feel ultimately responsible for his attempt.

I rolled over and buried my face into my pillow.

***

Mari came over and we immediately went up to my room, to start going through magazines. We had plans to cut out outfits for a vision board we were working on. We sat on my bed, working and listening to my music through a small speaker.

"Okay, spill--what's wrong?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know."

Mari put down her scissors, and grabbed my hand, tightly. "Harley, look, I know we haven't been friends that long...but I feel like I've never had a friend like you. You can tell me anything."

I shook my head, dropping her hand as tears started to sting my eyes. "You really don't want to know Mari--before I came here, I was a horrible person."