Boyfriends the little one

Gone mute

When I finally got to go home after 2 weeks in the hospital, I was so excited! "Home sweet home!" I ran to my room. I saw something laying on my bed. A white dress a ring and a note addressed to me. P: oh yeah it came in the mail I asked one of the servant's to unpack it and put on your bed!" "Ok thanks" p:" what is it?!" "A white dress, a ring and a note addressed to me." P: ohh read the note!" "Ok ok!" I started to read the note out loud. "Hello honey, I wanted you to have this by the time you read this I will be dead. I know that sounds bad but listen to me. I know who bailed out your parents, but I can't tell, they told me that they were bailing them out and I knew they were to coming for us. I also knew I was willing to give my life for yours, and you never should try to take yours to be with me. I gave you my life , I ask is that you keep it. I have a Secret I have had type one diabetes. That's probably the reason I died. I know when someone gets hurt and they get taken to the hospital they use one type of medication, that medication will mess my blood sugars and I will die." "Omg. She took her own life when I though she wanted to live." I started to cry, but I had to read the rest. "I am sorry I never told you. I was just not happy anymore. You are my everything. I don't want to live unhappy, so I am giving you my life. Please love keep it safe." I watched as my tears soaked up the pen ink on the paper. Yet there is another paper explaining the dress and ring . I started to read out-loud the second note. " now after that you are worried about the dress and ring . Well by the time you have this note I am hoping they found the hidden engagement ring, in my pocket. By the time that person told me they were bailing them out it was to late. I wanted to marry you. The ring you have now is the engagement ring, and the other is the wedding ring. I am so sorry we couldn't make it official before I left. The dress I picked out for you, you told me you never wanted a fancy wedding dress you wanted something white but not lace, something flattering but not over the top. I hope you love the dress I wish I could have seen you in it. I love you sm. I hope you know that goodbye my love." I sat there shocked my heart was now in my stomach. P: " oh Delia I am so sorry." " that just made her death about 100 times worse." I fell backwards on my bed and started to cry harder. I didn't say anything I just cried. Then Goth came in Prep handed him the letter and signaled for him to read it. Prep held his head  low as Goth red it. Goth started to cry and walked out. I didn't expect that from him. I know he cared about her too. But wow. I think we all miss her so much and now this just makes it worse, and to know she wanted to marry me made it all the worse.
Prep told me he was going to give me "time". I don't want time. I wanted her, not her body,I wanted her heart, her company, her kindness, her, just her. But what I have is her playlist on her phone. I put my AirPods in my ears and started the playlist, I knew all the songs by heart now, but I couldn't sing them without her, we would do that together. P: AirPods in leave her alone Goth." G: why should I?" P:" Clearly she wants to be alone." G: she is dancing around?" P:" But does she look happy? Or wanting to talk?" G: I guess not." P: Good" G: why do you protect her from me?" P: Because no one did that for. Me when I felt this way, I had to mask it. Over and over again. I don't want her to try again do you? Because right now it sounds like you do!"  Then Goth walked out. I didn't have the volume up, I heard the whole thing. I grabbed a candy bar then put it back. I didn't need anymore weight I thought, if I ever wanted to be pretty I would need to not eat all that. I walked down the nicely lit hallway and found the gym. I worked harder then I should have. I didn't eat anything, and didn't have water, but I wanted to be pretty it was worth it. I promised myself. I walked down the hallway to see Prep in the living room. P: shouldn't you have ate before you worked out?" "What?" P: I saw. Don't act like you did , you also had no water." "Oh oops I guess I forgot!" P: No you didn't. You skipped dinner at the hospital late night, breakfast, and lunch." " I just forgot!" I ran off to my room. Why can't they understand I just want that body, it's nothing if I skip a meal ,or two, or three. I'll be fine.
To be continued :)