TO THE MOON & TO SATURN | shawmila

five.

Camila thought that if she ignored her feelings for Shawn, they would just go away, but sometimes it felt impossible.

It was impossible to ignore how handsome he was, and how funny he was. Even when his jokes were lame, and she tried her hardest not to laugh, it still got her right in the heart.

It was impossible to ignore how kind he was. How he always looked into her eyes so she knew he was really listening when she spoke to him.

She couldn't ignore how he was with Luna, either. He was so nice to her, always helping her with her work at school or watching over her on the playground when Camila went to pick her up.

He was always giving Luna gold stars and high-fives and helping her find a library book. Anyone who was nice to her girl already had her heart, and it was definitely hard to ignore the fact that it was more than Luna's own father was willing to do.

But there was a weird sense of guilt that came along with Camila's attraction to Shawn—guilt, because he was Luna's teacher and Camila's first priority had to be Luna.

She couldn't ruin things for her, not when she was so happy.

Camila told herself maybe it would be different in a year. In a year, Luna would be out of Shawn's class and hopefully caught up with the other kids her age. By then, maybe she'd also feel ready to date again.

A year felt like forever when now, Camila was already so far gone for Shawn. Every time they were around each other, she felt such a strong pull of attraction. Every time they happened to be alone, she could feel her palms sweating and her heart pounding.

And the worst part—she knew Shawn felt the same way.

She knew that look in a man's eye, that soft smile, that laugh and the way he seemed to subconsciously lean towards her when they talked.

She knew he liked her too. They just couldn't do anything about it.

Nothing. For a year.

Despite a year feeling like it was dragging on, it was almost Halloween before Camila even realized. Shawn started decorating early, Camila noticed one morning as she and Luna left for school.

There were pumpkins on their doorstep, purple and orange string lights, and black bats stuck to the door. Camila almost walked right into a plastic skeleton hanging between their doors.

It made her and Luna's side of the house seem so bare in comparison. What if Shawn thought she was lame and unspirited?

He seemed to love Halloween, so she could too. She did.

Camila stopped by her parents' that afternoon while taking Luna home from school. She raided some of the boxes in their garage.

"What are you doing with our stuff for Dia De Los Muertos?" Sinu asked as Camila walked out with one of the boxes.

"I'm just borrowing some of it—you hardly even decorate anymore, not outside at least—I'll bring it back—"

"Camila—"

"It's for Luna!"

That seemed like the perfect excuse and they finally relented. Camila decided it wasn't really a lie, when she and Luna had fun decorating outside that evening.

They hung up their own orange string lights and glued plastic marigold flowers to their door. Right next to Shawn's skeleton, they hung their own that was wearing a little sombrero with candy skull face paint.

"It looks so cool!" Luna smiled.

"It does, doesn't it?" Camila agreed, glad her house no longer looked so plain.