thank u, next (Huke/Ariana)

Beginning

Ariana's POV

I ran my hand through my hair, as I heard the heavy footsteps of my boyfriend Harry approach the bedroom. I tossed my phone across the bed, leaning myself back slowly into the mattress. I brought my thumb up to my eye, doing my best to remove the bits of mascara that had managed to fall from my eyes along with my tears. A few seconds later, a couple knocks took me out of my negative thoughts. "Ari?" Harry asked, turning the doorknob, only to find that it was locked. The turning became more frantic as Harry tried to wiggle it open. "What's going on? Open up, please." He begged. I breathed out a puff of air as more tears fell from my eyes. I couldn't bring myself to open the door. The weight of the world felt like it was sitting on my shoulders, keeping my body down on the mattress.

"Baby, I can't help you if you don't open the door." Harry sighed. I hiccuped a few tears back and tried to get myself up, but I was only pulled back down by the negativity flooding through my mind. "What if I don't want you to help me?" I mumbled. Harry's hands lightly hit the door, and he brought his attention back down to the doorknob. Soon enough, Harry had gotten his way past the lock and was now standing in the doorway with tears streaming down his cheeks just like me. "Why wouldn't you want my help?" He asked, bringing his hand to his face to wipe away a couple tears. He seemed angry at first, but soon noticed my sadness. He walked slowly to me and sat himself next to me on the bed.

"I... I..." I started to speak, but my sobs stopped me. Harry pulled me for an embrace, but I quickly pulled away, leaving him hurt by my actions. "I'm sorry." I said. I brought a hand to my eye, but a phone chime interrupted me. I went to go and reach for it, but Harry got to it first, reading the horrible message on my screen. "What... what is this?" He asked, covering his mouth with his fist. I shook my head and began crying even more. "People... fans... I don't know, Harry!" I stuttered. Water started to fill his eyes, as he blinked back the noticeable tears. "Why didn't you tell me people were sending messages like this?" Harry seemed obviously hurt by what was on my phone.

"They hate me." I said, turning to face Harry. His expression dropped as he met my phone down behind him. "Who hates you, love?" He asked, taking my hands in his. I blinked a few tears back before pulling myself to answer him. "Your fans. I know that they can't stand me." I mumbled. Harry started shaking his head slowly, his fingers tracing patterns on the palm of my hand. "Babe, they don't hate you." But, they did. Maybe he was too nice and kind to notice, but they did. "Don't you see the things that are said about me?" I asked, raising my voice a little more than needed. Harry seemed hurt by my tone as he moved further away from me. "Nothing that I ever read about me being with you is positive, Harry! Everyone's either saying that I'm not ideal for you because I'm not as pretty and skinny as some of the other girls you've dated. I know that you don't like to hear bad things about some of your fans, and they don't like me and they never will.

More tears started to fall my cheeks, leaving them red and puffy. "Princess, I had no idea." He said, voice cracking. I stuck my tongue in my cheek, pushing it out. "How did you have no idea?!" I asked, standing up angrily. "All anyone ever talks about anymore is me! But, it's never about how good I looked in a photoshoot or how well an interview of mine went! Instead, it's all about how I don't look fitting for you and I don't deserve anything I have." My heart started beating faster and faster, and soon enough I was struggling to take a breath. Harry came and stood so he was face to face with me, kneeling down in front of me as he took my hands in his. "Just breath Ari." He said, reassuringly. "In... and out." I started following his movements as he coached my breathing. I instantly felt bad for bringing this kind of pressure into his life.

"See," I said. "You don't need this." I added, letting go of his hands. Harry's eyes were pink and glossy and I hated seeing him that way, but everything that I was bringing to his attention was true and he needed to hear it. "So you're just going to let a couple of jealous people get in the way of what we have?" He asked, standing up to meet me. I took my gaze off of him, looking towards the door. His hand came up to my chin, signaling for me to look at him. I took a small step back, but Harry followed my movements. "Harry, you don't need me." I said. "You need someone better, someone who people actually appreciate and like." He rolled his eyes at my words, intertwining his fingers with his. "It people don't appreciate and like you, well that's just too damn bad, Ari." He said, smiling. "I love you with everything I have and if people are too shallow to see how happy you make me, than they aren't really a fan of mine."

I couldn't help but smile at Harry. He really was the best at making me feel better when I was down. "But it's not going to stop, Harry." I added, looking over at my phone that was resting on our bed. "No, it's not." Harry smirked. "But, that doesn't mean they stand in the way of us. You'll all I've got, Ari and I'd be broken if you left me. Please, don't go and drop everything we know is too good to lose." He added, more tears sprinting in his eyes. I brought my thumb to my face, wiping away a few tears that managed to fall from his green eyes. I stood on the tips of my toes, placing my lips gently on his. Our lips soon started moving in sync, but it was different from the usual. We were both being very gentle with each other.

His hands cupped underneath my thighs, picking me up off of the ground immediately. My back was now against the wall, my body moving up and down every now and again. I broke the kiss, leaning my head into his shoulder. I started crying, but this time Harry just held me in his arms, rubbing my back. "It'll all work out fine, baby." He whispered. His soft, deep, soothing voice only made more tears fall from my eyes. He was so much, and sometimes that hit me pretty hard. "I love you so much, Ari. Please, never forget that." He added. I could practically feel the smile creep onto his face. "I love you, Harry."
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*A few days later*

*⚠️Trigger warning. If this makes you uncomfortable, skip ahead⚠️*

Harry's POV

I sat in the corner of mine and Ariana's dark room with my knees to my chest and a razor held tightly between my palms. I'd just self inflicted again. I cursed to myself under my breath. I'd went so long... I was doing so good... I thought to myself.

Today was just a breaking point. After the pressure of pressure and family and peers, I couldn't take it anymore. I tried so hard to stay strong and today I just lost it. I felt so dead on the inside. I was broken. One of these days I'll get the courage... To Jill myself. To end it all.

I swear at myself under my breath. I knew that wasn't true. I didn't think I'd ever have the courage to actually Jill myself. But I sure did wish I could stop the pain from coming all at once.

"Babe?" I heard a voice.

Shit.

The light switches on and my girlfriend, Ariana's eyes look at me and I weakly cry in the corner.

"Harry! What's wrong?!" She asks in a panic as she rushes over to me, kneeling in front of me. She cups my face in her hands. "Why are you crying, baby?"

Seeing Ariana so caring for me just made me cry even more. Her fingertips trace down to my arms and she holds my hands in hers.

"Are... Are those cuts?" She asks, her words all running together.

I used all my strength to look her in the eyes. I nod my head slowly. Disappointed in myself as always.

She stares at me. Lips slightly parted, eyes wide. "W-Why?"

I swallowed hard before regaining my breath to speak. "I've always struggled with self-harm, Ari. For as long as I can remember. And dammit I was doing so well. But I couldn't. Today I just... I just broke down and I went mental. I'm so sorry!" I say as I choke on my words from sobbing.

Ari pulls me into her and strokes my hair. She grabs onto me as I soak her white t-shirt with my tears.

"Why are you sorry? I should be sorry for not paying more attention to you. How could I not realize you were so depressed?" She pulls away so he can look you in the eyes. "You should never feel like your last resort is this, babe... I love you so much. If I lost you, I'd go insane."

"Would it really matter if I was gone though, Ari?" I whisper gently, as my lip quivers.

"How could you even say that?! Of course it would matter! Do you even realize how many people love you?! How special you are? There is no one in this whole world like you. You're one of a kind. I love you so much. And I promise, we're going to get you the help you need. Because me waking up one morning and you not being there... that's just something I couldn't stand."

I slowly nod my head. Ariana leans down to kiss my scars before pulling me in for a tight hug. "I love you. You're special. Don't ever forget that." She muffles into my hair.

And with such a supportive girlfriend like Ariana, there's no way I could forget that.