a gentleman's mistress

X. July 1st, 1989

Gwen ran to me, "Mira!"She eloped me in a hug, "Oh God, you're okay!"

I look up to see the Celeste's estate. When I turned around, the car that dropped me off was long gone. "What happened?" I asked.

"What happened?" she asked in a shaky voice. "You left the ball without a single word! That's what happened! I-" Gwen's eyes teared up, "I was so worried." She hugged me firmly.

While I pat Gwen's back I attempt to recall what happened during the night of the ball. I remember how I ate, drank and, surprisingly danced. I danced like it was the end of the world and I was crazy good at it.

Then, I think I met this guy.

We dance and dance and then-

I gasped.

"What is it?" Gwen asked.

I remember how we kissed in the hallway, and one thing led to another, I was in his bedroom. We had breakfast together, and he sent me off.

I rack my head around the one-night stand, but I can't remember his face.

But, for some reason, I'm okay with not remembering.

"I think I need to sit down." Gwen helped me sit down at the stairs, "I'm pretty sure I drank too much and slept with someone."

Gwen exhaled, "Mira," she said. "Again?"

I nodded, "Again."

There's a part of me that keeps repeating how everything is okay despite it not being okay. Why do I feel like it's okay when I lose parts of my memories?

"Where's Asena?" I looked around. You would think she'd be worried about a friend who's been gone all night.

Gwen exhaled, "We'll talk about her on the way to the hospital."

"The hospital? I don't need the hospital."

"Mira-" She stood up, "You blacked out again!"

I copied her action, "I didn't black out. I remember...some things...this time."

"I called your brother," she said. "He's really worried, and told me he'll book a flight here but-"

"Oh, no." I ran into the mansion and found the nearest phone. When I spotted one, I dialed my house number and prayed they pick up. "Mom?"

"Mira is on the phone!"

"Are you okay?" Mom asked.

"I'm fine." I looked at Gwen, "I partied too hard at the ball and ended up in a hotel room."

"Mira-" Dad does not sound happy.

"I...I'm fine," I said. "I...the thought of starting medical school soon got me anxious and- I'm okay Dad."

After ten minutes of trying to calm my family down, they finally let me go with a warning. They said, if I disappear one more time, my ass is flying back. They didn't say it like that, but it was implied.

"I'm so sorry. I was worried so I called them," Gwen said.

"It's okay," I responded. Now, it was time to soothe Gwen, and finally, when everyone was no longer worried about me, I went back to my bedroom.

It's not like I don't want to tell them the truth, but the last time I told everyone about the gaps in my memories, the doctor prescribed me intensive medications and I had to see a psychiatrist for months.

It wasn't fun.

After I showered, I went to Gwen's room. She was pacing.

I sat on the bed, "What's bothering you?"