Lisa
After a dreadful night of evaded sleep and scattered thoughts, I tossed the duvet angrily off taking a moment to glance at the empty side. A sharp pang caused my chest to ache as thoughts of Jennie re-entered my mind. Every fucking minute of every fucking day she was all I could have thought about. And seeing the child forming in her womb? My child. It was...it was beyond anything that I had ever experienced before.
Then the sound of her broken voice continued to stab at me as her parting words echoed in my mind making me sick to my stomach. I wanted to hold her and shake her as much as I wanted to pull her into my arms and make love to her. I wanted to assure her that I would do everything within my power to ensure that the baby arrives safely. But damn her, I was so fucking pissed. At myself...at that doctor but never at her. Millions of questions flittered through my mind.
How does one hold a new born?
What are you expected to do when they cry?
What are you expected to say when they fall ill?
Numbers and negotiations I could easily handle.
A little person who depended on you 24/7? I could not. Despite everything, I had no doubt that Jennie would be a great mother to our child.
Our child. The word caused a mixture of unexpected emotions within me as I rose from the bed.
Glancing at the clock showed that it was five in the morning. A while later, freshly showered and dressed, I knotted my tie glancing around the closet at the racks of her clothes, shoes and other personal items that we had bought, them occupying their closet space next to mine.
With a low curse, I was made to exit the suite before the same foreign emotion won out and compelled me to open Jennie's bedroom door. Peering inside the darken room illuminated by a night lamp on her bedside table; there she slept curled up and snuggled under the covers. Her sweet face stained with tear lines and her peachy mouth marred into a frown, it caused the ache in my chest to expand wider as a hollow feeling filled me. Gently closing the doors and walking off the unwelcome sense of...guilt was it? I had Nathan drive me to Bambam's townhouse as the gnawing feeling ate away at me.
"Hello mate." I said in greeting clasping him on his back as I took a seat opposite him on the breakfast bar.
"Good morning to you." the Thai daredevil smirked while leisurely sipping his coffee.
That knowing smirk could have only been behind the total rubbish Jackson and Chanyeol must have said to him. Without wasting a second further I decided to confide in him. Amongst the four of us, I would have to definitely state that Bambam was quite possibly the most mature one so maybe he would understand my decision.
"I'm getting married." I said to him causing him to choke on his coffee grimacing into his cup as he scorched his tongue.
"What!" He said spluttering looking at me ludicrous as he set down the hot liquid, "She's pregnant?" He asked.
Nodding frustrated at the situation I asked him to be my best man as we spoke more about my supposedly upcoming nuptials.
As we continued having breakfast, he suddenly looked up at me after a few pensive seconds he asked "Do you love her?"
Do I? Of course not.
She trapped me. Did she?
I cared about her.
I still do.
Then as image of the little baby entered my mind as I glanced at the familiar photo sitting nearby of a younger version of ourselves, an odd smile made its way to my face as Bambam looked on at me quizzically.
"Do you think the baby will look like me?" I asked unable to help myself.
"I don't know I care about her...but love." I replied continuing on unable to complete the sentence as I looked towards the photo once again overcome with nostalgia.
"I always knew you played the part of Romeo for a reason." Bambam commented in an amusing tone as I winced remembering the play we did at school almost a decade ago.
"We had a doctor's appointment yesterday." I said pushing my plate away as her tear soak vision ate away at me, "We had an argument...she's under a lot of stress right now because of me." I heard myself admitting on a wretched laugh that sounded despaired even to my ears, "The doctor said her high blood pressure can cause complications..."
"But it won't." Bambam said interrupting me as he set a determined pair of dark eyes onto me.
Changing the topic, we conversed about Rosé's role in Chanyeol's empire.
"Thankfully she agreed on the bodyguard, you know how she can get." I said to him sipping the last of my coffee.
"She's definitely something and I hope Chanyeol is ready for it." Bambam muttered draining his drink as humour filled his eyes.
If he saw my baffled look he made no attempt to make a statement as he stood up pulling on his suit jacket.
As I exited his home and made my way to work his question kept entering my mind.
