𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

III

🎶G-Eazy, Halsey - Him & I🎶
~KAI~

My eyes opened, light of a sun was shinning brightly into my face which made groan. I turned to the other side hiding my face into pillows that didn't have her aroma lingering on them anymore.

I miss her sweet aroma that was just like her middle name. Violet. Beautiful flower with soft and tender aura that has powdery and romantic aroma. I slowly lifted myself up and rolled out of bed almost falling on a floor.

Why I almost fell on a floor? Cause why not?

I walked into bathroom and looked in a mirror. My stabbed shoulder needed a new bandage so I grabbed one and changed it. I brushed my teeth and did my morning business thankfully without boner.

Sweet feeling of having normal penis in the morning, not a rifle.

I went into closet and changed into basketball shorts and then made my way into kitchen where I grabbed my water bottle out of the fridge and then went into my own personal gym. I turned on the light and went onto trademill. I turned on a some music. My old playlist that we made together stayed in my iPhone because of ICloud and it started to play.

I sighed as 'Him & I' by Halsey and G-Eazy started to play. Why universe why? I put trade mil on higher setting making me not just jog but run.

I ran like I did from that bomb that night, I ran like I did so I could pull her out of that building in time, I ran like I did to her when I saw her motionless body on the ground.

Fuck.

I put on a higher speed, now sprinting.

"I'm his and he is mine, in the end it's him and I. That's us Kai always and forever." She smiled her dimples showing.

I propped my arms on two handles that were on trademill and lifted myself into air as trademill under me was going crazy. My chest heaved as sweat was dripping down my forehead onto my naked chest. I sat my feet down on sides of trademill and turned it off.

"Fuck!" I yelled as I sat down breathing heavily while I was running my hand through my hair.

It should be easy to kill her, I trained myself not to care yet I still do. She has an effect on me even after those 3 years. You don't forget your first love, but I wish I could forget mine. Why did I take that offer?

I'm so stupid.

I stood up from trademill going towards a boxing bag. I shouldn't do this because of my shoulder but my stupidness is frustrating me. I picked up the wrappers from a floor that were next to boxing bag where I left them last time. I wrapped my knuckles and then landed a first punch.

"So that's it? Just like that? Just because I risked my life?!" She asked me giving me a confused look.

Another punch.

"Yes, because I can't take a fucking responsibility for something like that!" I said as I raised my voice a little which was a stupid move.

Another...

"Well I don't want you to take a fucking responsibility for my life. I know how to take care of my fucking self!" She raised her own voice back as she grabbed her phone.

Another...

"Where are you going?"  I asked as anger slowly left my voice.

Another...

"Out, call me when you stop being a prick. You know damn well in what kind of business we are. You think I'm not scared shitless whenever you get stabbed or shot on missions? Because guess what genius, I am, because I care about you and I could act like you do now and say I don't want you to be in this anymore but I won't, and you know why? Because I know how much your work means to you and that you enjoy the thrill of it. So call me when you get your act together or never talk to me again." She said as she slammed the bedroom door into my face.

Another...another...another.

"Hey, hey, hey let's talk about this." I said as I followed her opening the door.

Fuck.

"Talk about what?" She asked me turning her body in my direction.

Stupid...stupid...stupid.

"About this, us. Thena I care about you and you know it, I fucking love you but I can't stand the way you're treating your life like it doesn't matter to you. It's so utterly selfish of you to treat yourself like that when you know you have people who love you here." I said.

"Ohh so I'm selfish for doing my fucking job? Do better Kai." She huffed as she turned towards elevator.

"Yes, yes you are fucking selfish! So fucking selfish! Cause you know you have me here and you also fucking know I can't live without you." I said which made her turn around.

"And you think I fucking can? I had no one in my life to take care of me till I met you, yet I'm still not acting like a total dick about you risking your life."

"Do you want me to stop caring? Do you want me to not give a fuck about your life? Fine I will, there are other bitches on this planet." what did I just said?

"So I'm just a bitch to you? An easy fuck?"

"Thena that's not what I meant."

"Oh that's exactly what you meant, you know what Kai...go fuck yourself. Good luck with finding that new bitch of yours, I hope you will care as much about her as you cared about me." She said as her eyes turning glossy because of me. She walked towards elevator and that was the last time I've seen her in person.

I landed the last punch towards punching back making it hit my palms as I caught it.

I was stupid and couldn't keep my words in. When you're angry you do stupid things and I did one. She had every right to leave. Maybe if I fought harder I would have her here. Maybe if I ran after her she would be in my arms that night not just her sweet aroma in my sheets that I cried into at my own stupidity.

I sat on a ground and drank a bit of water while I was breathing heavily sitting on the floor till I heard my phone ding. There's was an invitation. Invitation to a ball...a masquerade ball.

There was also a guests list attached to it. I went through names that were sorted in alphabetical order and there I saw her name.

Athena Violet Lenoir.

I need to kill her, not just need I must kill her. I must erase her out of my head and the best way I can do it is by erasing her soul from this world. They say out of sight out of mind, I will just change it a little. Without life out of my mind.

It will be easy to erase her from this world but not from my mind. There will be heartache but I went through worse.

She must be dead to me, quiet literally.