deep down u are thinking about it

never got over him.

he was longest relationship, my biggest lesson, my worst mistake, but the mistake i would run back to if he just asked. he was a manipulator though. every single argument was my fault and i let him implant that into my brain. he put himself as perfect as someone who never made a mistake. the thing is if you take one look at him you just have to stare. with his curls, light skin, abs, muscles everywhere, the smile that makes you forget the world is still going on but that's the thing about pretty boys they want you around their fingers so they control you. they call it love. honestly i don't think that's what love is but when someone is there to care for you day and night and acts like he gives a fuck. you give him anything he wants. thats another thing i hated about him nudes... not his nudes cause Jesus christ that mine is fine but the way if YOU don't send when he wants your a brat and he's automatically mad. he's the type of mad that you just can't stand to see so you give him exactly what he wants. you don't want to lose him so whatever he wants he gets. when we broke up i was the one who broke up with him.why? you ask you were obviously so happy and never wants to lose him. well you see it's because i couldn't anymore i couldn't do the arguing or the fact everything was my fault. when i saw him again after the break up i ran right up to him and hugged him and he hugged me back. ik ik it's weird. but we did that for about 2 months all the couple shit but no relationship. he then later ended shit 100% on my birthday saying "i don't see you as a relationship partner more as a sexual partner" and to hear those words make your heart sink to ur stomach and stop beating. he likes to say it was because i turned everything sexual but what he doesn't say is that that's the only way he would pay attention to me. anyways i found out he was talking to the girl he told me not to worry about his best friend. i never really liked her while we were together and i had my suspicions and i was right but that's in the past. he's now with another girl and she's a whole other story of how they got together but she's perfection Jesus christ this girl is beautiful,sweet and overall has the best personality anyone can have. i'm not mad at her why would i be? she was actually one of my really good friends at a time. i was just upset to see how fast he moved on and how well he treated her without her having to beg for him. and he's probably using her like how he used me but she won't realize it till it's over. but that's how he does things. so yea i never got over it. will i? i honestly don't think so. what 🤷🏼‍♀️