chapter one | your hand on my waistline

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chapter one . . .

YOUR HAND ON MY WAISTLINE

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dearHave I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

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And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear
Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

Lover (Taylor Swift)

︵‿.•‧⋆·☪︎·⋆‧•.‿︵

Vasilisa'd had her room since she was five years old. But if she was honest, she thought it to be a miracle that her grandfather even allowed her to live under his roof right after her father casted her out of his home. Even though "casted out" might be a little bit of an exaggeration because the official explanation of her sudden departure was that the little girl didn't take her mother's death lightly and she needed a change of place. But the true reason had been carefully and successfully hidden from people's curious ears which seemed to be everywhere. Actually, it was supposed to be kept away from Vasilisa as well. But keeping secrets from a child was risky. Almost impossible, and the girl was proof of that.

And one day of a lucky eavesdropping helped her.

"She is not my daughter!"

"But, Nikolai–"

"Don't see me as foolish, Anna," the man's voice got dangerously quiet but Vasilisa did not know what happened next. Only that small part of her parents' conversation was enough for her to deduce that she wasn't her father's biological daughter as she originally believed. And after that she started noticing the obvious signs. Her father – she still called him that – had slowly begun to distance himself from her and he seemingly spent more time with Alisa but even more with his work. And despite her young age she knew that the only reason why she could remain under the same roof as him was her mother. For every stranger's eyes they seemed like a perfect family – a flawless father-daughter duo. But they didn't see the whole picture which was hidden behind the thick walls. But Vasilisa didn't really mind. She had never gotten a chance to experience having a loving father after all.

What the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve over. Right?

Even though she had daydreamed about who her real father might be, she had no knowledge of him. She didn't know his name, age or appearance. The only thing she had was her own imagination of him.

After some time she finally gave up on the dream. What she'd experienced with her current father made her truly wonder if having a father was worth it at all.

And Vasilisa had lived with that truth her whole life. She hadn't told a soul about it in fear of what her father might do because he was very keen on keeping a good name for their family.

Vasilisa lived in luxury. She had jewelry, teachers, dresses, maids... everything except for a stable family.

But nothing lasts forever. The uncanny balance they had was eventually broken by a disease that quickly swept through the city. Fortunately not many people became victims of it but Vasilisa's family wasn't so lucky. Anna, her mother, fell sick and although it didn't seem to be serious at first, it got worse. Until she couldn't fight it anymore. And as her death came, Nikolai's patience left. Reasoning it with the little girl's mental health and the overwhelming grief caused by her mother's departure he sent her to his father who lived in Saint Petersburg. And no one asked about Vasilisa's opinion. People around her made decisions for her, packed her things, dressed her and put her in a carriage that took her to a new city which was unknown to her and officially became her new home. The girl was separated from her sister, from everything she had known. And when she was leaving, her father didn't even bother to escort her. The only person who stayed by her side was her governess. And the only thing she chose to take with her was her mother's necklace.

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