The Ones That Descend Into Misery

Title to One's Own Life

"They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice... that suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person."

~Arthur Schopenhauer

The panel on the wall open slowly and gently. That's exactly how Evie knew it was only Hani. He appeared in the doorway with another tray of food. It looked like the same exact thing. A small bottle of water, bread wrapped in saran wrap, a few chicken nuggets, carrots, and broccoli. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough to keep her the least bit satisfied until the next tray came.

Evelyn was beginning to look forward to every time Batra came to see her. She was lonely, and being alone only left her with her thoughts of home. Thinking of home always sent pains through her chest. She could imagine Spencer so vividly, but he wasn't there. He was hundreds of miles away. This she knew, after Hani had explained they were in fact, still in Boston.

"Here we are." he said, setting the tray on her lap. The warmth of the tray warmed her lap through the thin sheet that was just barely keeping her warm. Evie shivered, realizing how cold she really was after knowing what warmth felt like. A room of shabby wood and gray cement wasn't the most comfortable place to be locked up for hours. Not to mention, she was beginning to go crazy from lying in a bed for hours after hours. There was one time where she needed to go to the bathroom and she had called for someone for nearly twenty minutes. When they'd finally burst into the room, aggravated looks on their faces, the men blindfolded her and half-led, half-dragged her down a long hallway, pushing her into a small bathroom. She'd never felt so much pain during that entire process. Even the pain killers couldn't numb her wound through that.

"Thank you. How long has it been?" Evie asked, already taking the top off the Styrofoam bowl that held her carrots. She always asked Hani how much time had elapsed since she'd been in this hellhole. Her goal was not to let that time end up being over three days. She wanted to be out of here much before then.

"21 hours." he said, obviously expecting the question. He took his usual place sitting on the edge of her bed. He watched her take the plastic fork and eat a few of the warmed up carrots. She was used to this. He always liked to quietly observe things. Maybe he was profiling.

It was quiet for at least five minutes as Evie ate. She finished her carrots, bread and a few chicken nuggets before she cleared her throat and looked over at Hani. He raised his eyebrows at her, waiting to see what she had to say. Evie thought about how she would word this.

"Hani... why did you tell them I can get them out of the country?" she asked. Whenever saying they, or them, Hani and Evie were always referring to the others in the gang holding them hostage. Batra was quiet. His eyes flickered to the floor to look down away from her. She hoped he would answer him. Sometimes he wouldn't, and when she'd question him further, he said some things are better unknown.

"If I didn't, they wouldn't have let me keep you alive." he finally said, raising his eyes to meet hers again. She bit her bottom lip nervously. What was he thinking? She couldn't do that! She wasn't even fully on her team yet. She was only an intern!

"Hani... I can't do that. You know I can't." she said, her voice shaking. It was terrifying knowing that the only reason they weren't killing her was because they thought she could do something she couldn't. She couldn't keep that up for long. Eventually someone would realize that she wasn't the federal agent they needed and dispose of her.