𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 | 𝟏𝟖+

08

I realise it a second later that it is my voice that echoes in the room. 

The room suddenly feels a lot smaller with him being so close. Us dancing in the party was not something I had expected. It was sudden and we have no other choice but to carry on the dance, I had no other choice but to be close to him. But now, knowing that it is him a few feet away from me makes it all different.

There are no people around us this time to witness this. No one forcing us to smile or dance together. No one forcing us to look at each other but yet I can't force my eyes away from him. 

Him, the only one who could ever capture my eyes and my soul and make them still. Lorenzo.

His beauty has been gifted by the ancient gods. His eyes, his face, his each feature demands you to stop and look at him. To give him your attention and praise his beauty. Time must have been stopped to create someone as enchanting and captivating as him. 

My heart pounds against my rib cage painfully fast and I will it slow down. But how could it when he is standing there just a few steps away. But how do I convince it that its not the same anymore ? That it will never be the same again. 

Maybe he'll hear my rapid heartbeat and laugh at me. Laugh at how pathetic I am to let him have this hold on me even after this long. But I have left that part of me behind. I'm not pathetic and he doesn't control my heart and mind anymore.

Then why does it hurt to not have his arms around me ? Why does it hurt to see the hate in his eyes even when I know I hate him too ? 

Maybe because some part of my mind was still living with the hope that maybe its not true. That maybe things were different. That maybe I can still find a place to call mine even if its for a brief moment. 

I was still clinging onto that one weak thread of hope.

Hope, that pathetic hope that you cling to when everything around you is falling apart. You hold onto it tightly, knowing that it is the only thing keeping you from falling off that edge. You give every last part of your being to holding onto that last ray of light, still hoping to get out of the darkness. 

You know you cannot be saved, you know that there is no one standing at the end waiting for you but you hope. And it guts you in the end. You give yourself in that fight and in the ends its only you. Alone. 

And now its laughing in my face for being a fool. For hoping that anything could ever be different. He hates me and I hate him, and that's the only way it can be.

He laughs humourlessly, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Me ? I should be the one asking that, seeing that I own this" he waves his hand around the room and it settles in my mind where I am actually standing. In front of him, away from the party going on in his yacht. 

Fuck, I need to get out of here. I don't want to be near him. Don't want to feel like my heart will burst out of its cage. Don't want to see the rage and hate he holds for me in his blue eyes.

For the first time I feel like I have nothing to say back. It makes me feel weak and vulnerable that he has the upper hand right now. 

I watch his eyes flick to Kaden who is standing a few steps away from me. When they return back to mine they hold a stronger intensity if that is even possible by the flame in his eyes "Really ? My best friend ? That is real low even for you" he hisses while taking a few steps forward.

My hands clench into fists at his comment "What do you mean 'even for me'. You don't get to judge me seeing as you have no standards of your own" I spit out at him. He opens his mouth to retort but I beat him to it