Life With B-project

Chapter 14

The four of us made it back to the house quicker than it took me to leave. The boys were surprisingly quiet on the way home but kept looking at me throughout the walk. I started to feel the depression kick in a little the closer we came to the door. I stopped in the walkway and studied the house for a moment. I looked behind me, then looked back at the house as the boys walked up to the door. Kazuna turned to watch me, a small smile grew on his face. I looked at him as I huffed. Hikaru and Akane went to walk in but noticed me themselves. Kazuna turned to the two of them. "Go ahead in, we'll be right behind you," he said, as Akane looked at me. Finally, the two entered the house. I took a deep breath as Kazuna walked over to me and turned to look at the house himself. He stayed silent for a few moments. I huffed as I put my hands in my pocket. "Are you gonna be ok?" he asked as I glanced at him and then back at the house. "Parts of me doesn't wanna return," I said, trying to hide the shakey tone in my voice. He approached and he started to rub my back in comfort. I took another deep breath to try not to cry again. "It hurts," I said, as he turned to me. "I know," he said, as I studied the door. I sighed again as I nodded. "Ok, it's a little cold," I said, as he chuckled and followed me inside.

I walked into the living room and I started to take my shoes off. Tsubasa was sitting on the couch with the rest of B-Project when she turned to us. "Welcome home, how was your walk?" she asked in a welcoming tone. I went to speak but stayed silent. Kazuna turned to me, then to her. "Cold, but it was nice," he replied back. The rest of the household turned to me. I looked to the floor in silence. Haruhi tilted his head. "Iris, are you alright?" he asked as I looked up at him. I felt my eyes tear up. "I," I said, in a shaky tone. Haruhi walked up to me and he started to rub my shoulder. "You can say what's on your mind. It's alright," he said, as I took a deep breath. "I," I said, again, but failed to speak. "Come sit with us Iris," Momotaro said, as he patted the seat next to him. I looked at Haruhi before walking over and joining him on the couch. I crouched over myself to look at the floor as I held my hands. A hand started to rub my back in comfort. "I," I said, as my hand started to shake. I tried to calm myself, but my crying started to intensify when I tried. "I," I said again, but like before, failed to speak. "It's ok Iris, they'll understand," Kazuna said, as I started to shake dramatically. I took a deep breath as I finally sat back. I calmed myself down enough to speak. Tears continued to drip down my cheek. I looked up at my brothers as I finally spoke. "Mom died of a heart attack," I said, as my brothers grew shocked. "The paramedics couldn't figure out why. How do you know that?" Yuzuki said as I held my hands together. I turned to Kazuna who nodded. "It's ok," he said, as I turned back to the boys. "I know this because," I said, as I took a deep breath. The tears flew harder. "I was right next to her when it happened. She was stopping me from calling and when I finally called for help, she was gone," I said, as I just studied my twin brothers. The house fell silent straight after. Haruhi and Yuzuki studied me in shock. I put a fisted hand to my mouth. "I'm sorry I let her die," I said, as no one said anything. I studied my brothers before looking at my hands to continue crying.

"So mom wanted you to kill her?" Haruhi asked as I nodded and looked up. "I'm sorry," I said, as my brothers turned to each other. I looked at Kazuna as he studied me silently. I looked over at my brothers as they both studied me. I looked at the floor as I stood. "I'm sorry," I said, as I started to walk out of the room. "Iris," Akane said as I walked out and went straight to my room. I turned on the light and shut the door. I pressed my head up against the door as I sobbed loudly. It got to the point where it was uncontrollable. I felt myself slide down the doorway as I sat on the floor. "I'm sorry," I whispered to myself. "I'm sorry I killed you, mom," I said, as I pressed my head to the door. I took a deep breath. "They must hate me now," I said, as I looked at the door. I got up off the floor as I turned to look at the deck. I studied the chairs, as they sat in the dark. I managed to get up and walked over to the sliding doors. I opened them and walked to the table. Crickets chirped as I slid the door shut. I sat in one of the chairs as I held my arms. I was freezing, but I didn't want to go back into the house. Tears dripped down my cheeks again as I looked back down to cry harder. A knock came on the door as it opened and someone walked through my room.

The being walked onto the deck as a blanket was dropped over my shoulders from behind. I wrapped myself in it as I looked back at the ground. The being silently sat next to me. I wrapped more in the blanket. "You going to be ok?" Kazuna asked as I looked up at him. I shook my head and looked back down. He shifted in his seat. "I'm proud of you for saying it straight up like that," he said, as I huffed. "I feel horrible," I said, as he turned to me. "It'll probably feel like that for now. But it's going to get better," he said, as I looked at my feet. I studied them for a moment, then wrapped myself more in the blanket. Finally, I sat back and looked up at the sky above. It was a giant blanket of stars with the moon right in the middle. Little clouds drifted off of it, but not enough to cover it. I studied them as I tried to focus on my breath. I inhaled deeply and let it out slowly, hoping it would help.

Kazuna looked up to study them himself. "Their beautiful tonight," he said, as I nodded. "Yeah. Plus the breeze is helping a lot," I said, as I got a little more comfortable. "You seem to like the outdoors," he said, as I nodded. "My brothers and I played outside a lot when we were kids. Plus it always helped with stress," I explained. He turned to me. "I bet. It looks like you needed it a lot," he said, as I sighed. "Yeah. Being homeless is stressful. That's for sure," I said, as he huffed. "I'm sorry Iris, I can't relate to that," he said, as I looked at him for a brief moment. "That's alright. It's best not to be in that situation." I took a deep breath as I learned more in my chair. I started to think to myself as I huffed. "Do you think they hate me now?" I asked as Kazuna got comfortable. "I don't think they hate you," he said, as the door opened again. "I don't hate you,"  a familiar voice said shortly after. I turned to see Yuzuki standing at the entrance.  I glanced over at Kazuna who stood. "I'll give you guys some time alone," he said, as he started to walk back into the house. He stopped at the doorway. "Iris, feel free to talk to me at any time," he said, as I nodded. "Thank you," I said, as he closed the door and walked away. 

Once Kazuna left, Yuzuki pulled the other chair in front of me before sitting. I placed my forehead on his shoulder as tears continued. His arms wrapped around me in comfort as we both stayed silent for a moment. Then he sighed. "So all those years, you were hiding this from us?" he asked as I close my eyes and cried harder. He hugged me tighter. "It's going to be ok," he reassured me. "How do you know that?" I whispered through tears. He chuckled a bit. "Because this is exactly what happened when mom passed. I cried on Haruhi, just like your doing to me," he said, as the door opened again. "Only Yuzuki got me drenched," Haruhi's voice said, which gave me a little chuckle.  Yuzuki looked up at Haruhi as Haruhi joined us on the deck.  He sat down on the other side of me. "I didn't cry that much," Yuzuki told him. "You did. I had a huge wet stain on my shirt," he said, as I started to laugh a little bit. Yuzuki studied him again. "I don't remember crying that much," he said, as Haruhi nodded. "You did. I had to change after," he said, as I chuckled. "I can't picture that," I said, through tears. "He did," Haruhi said to me. Yuzuki turned to Haruhi. "Should I mention to Iris about the time you cried for a music video?" he asked. I chuckled a bit. "Why can I picture that?" I asked as Yuzuki turned to me. "Because he did," he said, as I shook my head.  "No, trust me, Iris. He cried because it came out so great," he said, as I chuckled. "What have I been missing?" I asked as Yuzuki turned to me. "Tons of embarrassing moments," he said, as I chuckled. 

Haruhi turned to Yuzuki again. "Should I tell Iris about you crying because of that moment?" he asked as Yuzuki cocked his head. "Are you talking about that meet and greet with Thrives last summer?" he asked as Haruhi grinned evilly. "That's the one," he said, as Yuzuki studied him. "Don't tell Iris that. She doesn't need to know," he said, as I looked at him. "Please? I need a good laugh," I said, as Yuzuki sighed. "Well you deserve payback Haruhi," he said, as I got a little excited. I always loved it when my brothers went into their work life. Haruhi looked at me. "Ok. So at this meet and greet, it was to promote the movie we were in. And this girl gave Yuzuki a bouquet of flowers because she saw the movie. I tell you, Iris, I've never seen him cry like that," he said, as I chuckled. I looked at Yuzuki as I controlled my laughter. "So, did you get her number?" I asked as Yuzuki got a little red. "What? No. She was just a fan. We get that all the time," he shot back.  I chuckled. "So explain the red cheeks," I said, as Yuzuki looked at me. "I didn't have red cheeks at the time," he said, as I shook my head. "Not then, now. Your cheeks are red now," I said, as his eyes bulged and his face got redder. "I'm not blushing, it's really hot out here," he said, as Haruhi laughed. "Yuzuki, it's like forty out here," he said, as Yuzuki looked at him then at me. "Iris is feeling better now. Good night," he said, as he started to walk into the house. I turned to him. "Yuzuki, come back. We're just playing," I said, as he peeked his head out the door. "Should we talk about Iris's boyfriend when she was five?" Yuzuki asked as he rejoined us. "DON'T GO THERE!" I yelled as Haruhi burst out laughing. We continued to share embarrassing memories until one in the morning, then the three of us crashed in my room shortly after.