"Put Yourself On My Side"

A slice of Past?

This dream?
Why is the dream so.. familiar??
It's not a dream.
How I wished it was!
But you can't change the past.Mother gave me away for family needs even though she said she loves me.

I hated her

She went away with a another person I don't recognize.
My sister usually snuck out to see me as I do the same even with my horrible place.
I lived alone now with insects I fear as the fear vanishes when I have fun with my sister as comfort.

I hate her.

I being sent away as my father who put me here disappeared.
I sooooooobbed and could shoke out "any" words.Any word and sentence I could speak-except the rebellious ones.I couldn't scream out curses to my mother with sobs I couldn't control choking me every time I tried.

I hated this place

It was filled with weird bugs and I lived in the yard like an animal while the caretaker rests in the apartment and stays there.I was filled with not hunger ,but fear as the bugs were in weird sizes and such.Im a brave boy who jumped and avoided the bugs as she sobbed on her horrible life.It was always nightime in my "home".

I hated people who didn't care

The father I had left me when he forced me into my "home".My mother left me taking my other siblings.
I hated crying
It's like a curse that stuck to me in this horrid planet.I still cried even when I was neutral or in peace with my sibling.I blame her for this curse of mine.Now I live for myself yet it was unfair and tragic.I need to break the curse to breathe the peace and freedom.

I cared for her

She was my sibling.
She was the comfort I relied on.
She helped me get through so much.
She's a miracle of light to this dark torture.
She is all I have to continue surviving?
She is the only one that cared enough?
I want to thank her later.

Later is now

My sister found a way to get me home at last.I could've cried tears of joy,but my face was already filled with them so off we went.
The transportation plan was to use the old abandoned train to get home.She had experience as she uses it to get to me.It would take a day or so to reach home.The reasoning why it feels like she is always back a hour or so goes to my place.It's cursed with no time existing there-so awful.Back to the plan!We used the train and railroad to reach home...She took lead as I forgot anything outside the "home"

Stare with envy

We arrived and she hid with me as we spyed on the porch of "our" home.Lights were on from our view and our mother was on the inside..with a smile as she watches our siblings play and-the other women.Who was this women?I haven't seen her before when I was mom's "child".She has something to do with this.When I collected my thoughts I asked my sister to help me get in.She did just that.

How familiar

As soon as I got in-the backyard was the same as my "home"but a better version.Lovely plants with no bugs.Light!There was light?Is this hope like they say?It was pretty but was it home?Then the women entered the yard.

Who!what?This doesn't make sense please..

She yelled and screamed and reminded me I don't belong here.She wanted me out.I cried and tried screaming curses but once my more my sobs covered it making me look...weak.

I'm not weak

She's weak

I am brave not weak please

Memories after that were foggy ,but I can recall finally being able to scream out my curses in the ground...dying yet reliefed.

"Wake up Espresso!!"