Lover Is A Day

Chapter 12

It was hazy. I could see two kids sitting on top on benches facing each other.
'It could be', one said
'Yeah', the other laughed 'And he keeps doing that in the locker room too!'
A third boy walked up to them, 'What is it?'
'You know Raj, right?', the kid said 'He's saying that Raj keeps looking at him in a weird way', he pointed to the other kid. That kid looked familiar.
They all started laughing.
Where am I? I instantly realized that I was in my school, back in Delhi. Then these kids must be my-
'You're saying that Raj is gay?!', the third kid said, inbetween laughs, wiping his tears
-friends. I was looking at them from afar. It all looked like a daze. This was back in 8th std, it was a winter morning, when I had gone to school early, and overheard this. They couldn't see me, or know that I was hearing them. I didn't know what to do, If I were to confront them, then would it just be them confronting me about being gay? Instead of confronting them, I was worried how they would react if I were to confront them. Maybe I just didn't have enough courage. so, I only stood there.
The word "gay" struck out to me. Everything was a blur, I couldn't see anything except those kids, and I couldn't hear anything expect their laughter. I realized that I was back in my school days. I was wearing the grey zipper hoddie on top of my school uniform, like how I used to. All my childhood was like that plain grey hoddie. Plain and grey. Grey like in a daze.
This is a dream.
The kids continued talking and laughing, and I couldn't take it anymore. So, I turned around to run- but I ran into her instead.
Mira. It was the first time that I had met her. I avoided looking at her face, but I'm sure it was her. I said sorry for running into her, and then walked away.
In the next dream. I was in the same park. Where I used to go back often. I sat alone on a one of the rusted swings.
'You dropped this'; a female voice interrupted me.

I woke up. I was sweating and back in my dorm room in Mumbai. It was dark. I searched for my phone. It was 3:55 in the morning. I lay on my bed again, properly this time. My head ached, it was a scoring pain, right above my ears. Infact my whole body ached because of sleeping in an unruly position for this long.
Why did I have to remember this now?
I was 13, when this had happened. I remember all the feelings I had in that moment. It didn't help that I was hungover. I remember what had happened next. What had happened next was worse...
I massaged my temples. But it didn't help with the headache. Drunken dreams are the worst... Memories from back then came flooding in. It's been soo long since I last felt this way. But I didn't cry, instead I went in kitchen to fetch water.
I opened the group in which Zenna had added me. It had a few unread messages.

Neha: Hi Raj 👋🏻
Shubham: Welcome to this group
Here we are crazy 😆
Zenna: No only a certain someone is crazy
Shubham: Neha, your friend is soo mean
I got a text notification, just now. It was from Shubham.

Shubham: Hey
You: Hi
Shubham: You didn't sleep yet?
You: No
Shubham: I saw you were online
What happened?
You: I was sleeping, but I got up
Shubham: Why?
Bad dream?
'...'
He was only asking but... how could he guess soo accurately?
You: Yeah
I suppose it's not that hard to guess.
Shubham: Ah don't worry
Whatever it is, you're fine now 😊
You: You're right
Shubham: Try to sleep again
And think about good things this time
Feelings, thoughts, memories, are all stored deep in your subconscious mind
Your subconscious mind only projects that in the form of dreams
Although you can't control your subconscious mind, you can control your conscious mind, so think about goods things, that way you won't have bad dreams
You: are you studying psychology?
Shubham: No
I had psychology in junior college
Now I am studying to be Cardiothoracic Surgeon
You: What is that?
Shubham: It's a heart surgeon
You: Okay doctor
He saw it but didn't reply anything. He replied after a few minutes.
Shubham: I should get back to studying
Goodnight

I kept my phone aside, and decided to follow his advice.
Think about good thoughts, good thoughts, good thoughts- him?
I ended up thinking about him. I felt embarrassed for that. But then decided that this is only but my mind, and I can think of whatever I want to, in my mind.
I thought for 15 mins or so, and decided that I was getting too ahead of myself. I got up and texted him.

You: Still can't sleep
He instantly replied.
Shubham: Then study

I woke up again. It was daytime now. It was 9 in the morning to be precise. Thankfully it is a Sunday, so I don't have to go out. My head continued to hurt. I kinda wanted to go back to sleep, but I had already overslept and I was very thirsty. I felt extremely tired.
I fixed myself a coffee. And sat on my bed, still hungover. I am never drinking again.
My phone rang. It was Zenna. I halfheartedly picked it up.
'...hello?', I said
'Why do you sound soo dead?', she asked
'I just woke up., what do you want?'
'We're making plans of going out today-'
'I am not coming', I said
'I didn't call to ask you, I called you to tell that you have to come', she said. I could sense her smiling through the phone.
'Why?'
'I'm getting a feeling that Shubham may confess to Neha today'
'Yes, he will. What about it?'
'You knew about this?'
'Yeah, he told me yesterday while going home'
'Why didn't you tell me that then!?'
'Because it's none of our business'
'He asked Neha to meet him today ALONE!', she said
'So?'
'SO!?' she continued 'We'll need to be there for him- when he gets rejected by Neha', she said and started laughing
I sighed. 'How do you know that she will reject him?'
'Oh, I know it alright'
'Whatever', I cut the call. Listening to her voice first thing in the morning isn't very ideal.
I fell on my bed again.

I spent my whole day, doing house chores like cleaning up, laundry and washing the dishes. Before I knew it, the whole day was over and it was evening again. I made Maggi for dinner and then went to back to studying. I decided to stay up late tonight, since I had overslept the day before.
Should I text him? The day was almost over and if what Zenna said was right, then he should have confessed to her by now.
I had spent the whole day thinking about him, I couldn't focus on anything really. Now that it was evening, I felt a sense of emergency.
I took out my phone. But I thought against it.
No no no why would I care? If he got rejected and then I asked him, then it was seem weird. But it would be even worse if he didn't get rejected. Although Zenna seemed confident.
I texted her instead.

You: Did you go?
Zenna: Look who has messaged me first
Why do you care, "It's none of our business" right?
This-
Zenna: I didn't go with Neha, I didn't plan too either
I was only teasing you
You: I see
Zenna: But he did confess
'...'
Zenna: and she said 'no'
She rejected him!

My doorbell rang. It can't be Abhi or Mayur, then had gotten in trouble yesterday for not getting back before curfew, so they can't be. I opened the door.
It was Shubham.

Author's Note ♡:
Hi guys! I'm back from the grave. My exams are over and I'm finally free ('∀｀)
Btw I post (cool?) quotes on instagram, so pls follow me on ig @aestheticicecubes
And if you liked this story then please like, comment and follow.
Yours truly, aic