𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐄| Rue Bennett

i. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩

"Lydia?" her mother tapped on her door, trying to open it. "Can you open the door?"

"I'm fine!" she called back, her voice was shaky though. Her mom had been doing what she could since the accident. She'd taken her out of school for the first semester, gotten her in good with a councilor, let her sleep in her bed with her. It wasn't until recently that Lydia had even gotten back in her bed, but New Years came around, and the sound of fire works put her in a bad headspace. "I'm fine."

"Let me come in there with you." Jenny begged her daughter. "I'm gonna call Dr.Sanchez."

"Don't call Dr.Sanchez!" she called in return, holding the bridge of her nose, wincing as the midnight fireworks echoed in the distance. "Please, I just need space!"

"Lydia." Jenny wouldn't give up. She knew maybe she did truly need space, but it broke her heart to just walk away and leave her daughter scared and sobbing on the other side of the door. "Just let me come in."

Lydia reached up, pulling the bedroom door open before she went back to holding her ears, her knees up to her chest as she rocked slightly. Jenny squeezed in, kneeling down and holding her daughter. She found the noise canceling headphones, placing them onto her ears and squeezing her hands until the night was over.

'The first day I saw Lydia, I was kissing Jules. I didn't know it then, but in a few months, I'd fall insanely in love with her. I'd fall in love with how much she loved me, how much she hated life, her trauma, the annoying twitch her fingers did, her stupid inability to let things go. I can't really remember exactly what I thought when I first saw Lydia in the doorway of school, I was really high. But, I can imagine I thought she was beautiful. Or maybe I was just making fun of her.'

Lydia jumped when a boy slammed his locker, stilling in the doorway. Someone rammed into her shoulder, not mumbling an apology as she caught her breath.

Lydia had been homeschooled since the accident over at AlleyBrook High. A school shooting that she was put in the middle of and didn't think she would make it out. Really, she didn't actually. She didn't die, unlike her classmates, but she didn't actually survive. Jenny was a good enough mom to keep her home for the time being, but the second semester of senior year was her last shot if she was gonna get her grades back on track.

But, some things are easier said then done.

"You know i'm tutoring that girl." Elliot spoke when Jules walked away, the awkward interaction and introduction not going over nicely. "She's pretty, isn't she?"

"School shooting girl?" Rue frowned her eyebrows.

"It's her first day back." Elliot hummed as they watched her fumble with her locker.

Lydias hands shook as she held her locker, her breathing shaky as she tried to keep it together. She popped a Xanax into her mouth, ones prescribed by a doctor, and shoved her head into her locker.

"Yo." a voice made her jump, hitting her head on the side of the locker. "Fuck, sorry."

Lydia pulled back, staring into sunken in eyes, curls hung before them and stuck on her eye lashes. Rue cleared her throat, rocking slightly. "What you got there?"

"What?" Lydia gapped, inhaling deeply.

"I saw you." Rue exclaimed with a nod of her head. "What is it?"

Lydia looked back at her locker. "Xanax."

"Cool." Rue pursed her lips. "Can I have one?"

"What?" Lydia repeated, her heart rate was going down.

Lydia told me weeks later that I was the only thing that truly helped her panic attacks. I know she didn't mean to, but it put a lot of pressure on me. It took a while, but I started to understand how bad off Lydia was. Apart of me really wanted to get sober just incase I ever did over dose or had to go back to rehab and have to leave her all alone.

But, that's not really how it worked. Lydia knew that.

"Can I have one." she repeated, glancing to the bottle.

"Oh." Lydia blinked. "Okay."

Rue held her hand out as Lydia placed it in her palm, giving her a small smile. "Thanks."

She exhaled, glancing off. Rue cleared her throat. "I'm Rue."

"Hi." Lydia said in return, looking at her schedule. "Can you help me?"

Rue inhaled, raising her eyebrows. "Sure."

That's how easy it was for me to need her just as much as she needed me.

Lydia clasped a hand over her mouth, hidden in the hallway closet. She cried, but tried to silence herself. Their were multiple shots that echoed for minutes now, screams, cries. She locked herself in the hallway closet when the first one rung, crying to herself now as she waited for someone to come. The next gun fire was close, causing her to jump.

The shelf behind her fell, cleaning supplies spreading across the floor. Lydia cried as she sat down and brought her knees to her chest, clasping her hands over her ears when the doorknob started to rattle.

"Yo." the same voice from behind brought her back. Lydia gasped, looking to the right and found Rue. She didn't realize she was infront of Elliot's house until now, knowing she was meant to come here after school. She forgot how she got here, she just knew she walked.

"You keep showing up." Lydia stared over at Rue as she caught her breath.

"You look a little-uh, a little lost in space there." Rue motioned to herself.

Lydia looked to the house. "I'm Lydia."

"We met earlier." Rue gave a tight lipped smile, rocking on her heels.

"I didn't tell you my name though." her heart rate started to go down. "I'm Lydia."

Rue gave a nervous laugh. "I'm Rue."

It made Lydia smile. "I'm suppose to go in and study."

"Well, i'm suppose to go in and and do drugs." she said in return with a shrug. "Do you wanna...walk in together?"

•

kylie speaks

sad gf 🤝awkward gf