Zaldivar Series #1: Weaving Lies and Chaos

Kabanata 13

Our wedding... like what I've requested is moved a month away from the original wedding date.

So we need to attend all the meetings we missed the last three weeks that Chaos and I were not on good terms. 

Hindi ko alam ang dahilan ni Chaos kung bakit ganoon ang trato niya sa akin sa loob ng tatlong linggo. I wanna know why but a part of me doesn't want to even ask. At napapansin ko ring ayaw pag-usapan ni Chaos ang bagay na iyon. Seems he's avoiding that topic too.

I know we need to talk. I need to ask him. But I'm too afraid that he'll treat me coldly again if I did. Though I know Chaos isn't that shallow.

He's now back to how he used to treat me. Hindi na katulad noong nakaraang tatlong linggo na para bang hangin lang ako para sa kanya. Like he didn't care at all. 

Since then, I became more careful on what I'm doing. Para bang takot akong magkamali sa harap ni Chaos dahil sa pag-iisip na babalik ang malamig na trato niya sa akin. Kahit na alam kong hindi ko dapat nararamdaman iyon. I shouldn't give a fuck about how he'll treat me. 

But right now, I can't stop my insides from reacting in every move he'll make. Even when he's just near me, my insides will instantly be in chaos.

I know what it is. I clearly understand what all these feelings mean.

And I'm trying so hard to suppress whatever it is as I know it won't do anything good. In the end, I need to fix everything and let Chaos go. I even promised him to fix things before I go.

And the truth is... I want more time with him reason why I still can't fix everything. Kung gugustuhin ko, kayang-kaya kong ibalik ang lahat ngayon din. But I don't want to. I want more time with him as this might be our last time together.

As for the Zaldivars, they will surely be furious but the heck I care. My only concern is Chaos. 

Nothing has changed. I still loathe the root of the Zaldivars and I'm still craving for vengeance.

Though this time, I'm not sure if I can do what I'm planning. That is, to leave them in embarrassment as I'll ditch the wedding. I promised Chaos to return everything in its places before leaving so I will. It wasn't on the plan but because of this sudden changes in me, I accidentally spat out words that I don't even imagine I'll do.

And I can feel it. That the more I suppress what I'm feeling, the more it wants to come out. Para bang sinusubok ako. Tulad na lang ngayon.

We visited the venue for our wedding. And the owner, who is a close friend of Chaos is testing my patience. 

"Have you forgot? Tomorrow is my birthday. I can't contact you that's why I informed you this late," Leticia apologetically smiled at Chaos. While I'm calmly smiling beside Chaos. Still smiling even though I wanna slit this woman's throat just to shut her up. 

She even tried to hold him. Hindi nga lang niya naabot dahil pasimpleng umiwas si Chaos. 

Maybe he can sense my irritation because ever since we came, this girl's always grabbing the chance to cling to Chaos. She's also finding a way to say something about her and Chaos's friendship that I don't give a fuck and was so out of topic.

I find what I'm feeling right now a fucking petty but I can't stop myself as the woman is really irritating.

We're here for the venue and not for chitchat about whatever relationship this woman has with Chaos. She didn't even become his girlfriend yet she's fucking... 

She ran her fingers in her hair instead when she failed to touch Chaos. "I'll expect the both of you tomorrow."

She looks sophisticated but fragile. Sa hinhin ng boses niya, tila hindi siya makabasag pinggan. But she can't fool me. I know the likes of her.