Inside Minds
by
Felicity Marsh
(43,000 words)
She stared out of the window, wondering if her husband would get back tonight. Marc, her husband, hadn’t come home from work this evening, nor had he returned from work on time for the past three weeks, and Rachel was becoming more and more worried.
Rachel and Marc lived in Queens with their ten-year-old son, Jack. They had lived at this house ever since they married three years ago. They both loved the house and its location; beautiful scenery, green luscious trees, and an abandoned, overgrown baseball park close by, where Jack would usually go to play with his school friend, Bessie.
Jack and Bessie were great friends, never leaving each other’s sides even when they were at school. Rachel thought it was adorable; whenever she mentioned her name or spoke of her briefly, his innocent little face would always go bright red. He tried to hide his embarrassment every time, but usually couldn’t.
Her vigil at the window came to an abrupt halt.
“Mommy!” cried Jack, as he exploded through her bedroom door and ran into the room.
It seemed as if he were having another one of his frequent nightmares. They were putting a strain on Rachel but she didn’t think Marc had even noticed. Well, he was rarely home these days.
“Huh? What’s the matter? You scared me, love.”
Jack stood in front of her for a little while, staring her out with naked, frightened eyes, but when she went to speak to him again, he broke into a stream of nonsensical words.
“Son, take a deep breath, tell me what you saw.”
The boy inhaled exaggeratedly and then began to talk again.
“I can’t sleep... there’s a monster in my room!” His voice trembled and tears started rolling down his pale, chubby face. He gazed at her for a while with his tear-bright eyes, until she eventually gave in, like she always did.
She knelt down on the carpet and hugged him tightly in her arms.
“What are you talking about? There’s no one in the house except us and you know that. You’ve got to stop this whole ‘monster’ business, you’re ten years old now… just go to bed, will you?” She didn’t have the patience for this tonight; there was only one thing on her mind.
“But Mommy, I don’t want to go on my own.” Jack stared at Rachel with such pleading, but there was only silence.
She relented. “Okay, I’ll come to your room and I’ll personally check every square inch to make sure there’s nothing there. Sound good to you?”
He nodded in agreement and let her walk him back to his room, where he jumped into bed quickly.
Leaving the door ajar behind her, she tucked him up tightly, and then searched around and underneath his bed for him.
“Nope, nothing here, it’s just your imagination. Now go to sleep, you’ve got school in the morning.”
“Night, Mom.”
She kissed his forehead and went back to her room, leaving Jack’s nightlight on for his sense of security and reassurance that there wasn’t actually anything there.
‘Oh, where is he?’ she thought to herself for the umpteenth time that night. She felt sick and utterly exhausted; it had crossed her mind that maybe he had actually gone missing. Or had he been kidnapped and was being held hostage by some loon? She must put these thoughts out of her mind; she was growing more and more paranoid by the minute. With a shake of her head, she turned and prepared for bed. Hopefully, sleep would bring oblivion; relief from these tormenting thoughts.
* * * * *
It was a few years since Marc had proposed to Rachel and he had done so in such a romantic way. He had arranged her dream candlelit dinner with champagne, overlooking miles of sandy beaches on a cool summer evening and it seemed that life couldn’t get any better for Rachel. She was finally happy; head over heels in love with the man of her dreams and at last she felt her life was beginning to make sense.
However, unbeknown to her, Marc had embarked on countless affairs throughout their engagement and some had overlapped into their married life. Rachel never suspected anything; the thought had never even crossed her mind. Marc was so devious in his ways, he made sure he had a new excuse for every time he snuck out or for the times when he was late getting home from work.
There were the occasional frivolous episodes at work, but he kept them quietly hidden. Most of the time it would be safer to sneak a woman into his office after everyone had left and the office was closed for the night. Then he would have his fun. He just didn’t care anymore; he was a user of women. He wanted his single life back now and hated being married. The thought of it made him cringe with disgust. He felt trapped and she was so obsessed with him, it was a very unattractive thing to see. Whenever he arrived home later than usual, she would interrogate him aggressively and he thought she may have suspected something for a while. If she did, she kept it to herself; she was too afraid of losing him, not wanting to be alone again.
It was just after he had proposed to her that he realised what a huge mistake he had made. There was no need for him to tell her about all the women he had slept with over the months; his philosophy was that what she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her.
Before their engagement, they had taken a year’s separation, thinking it was something they needed at the time, but truthfully she hated it. Rachel loathed the single life; she just wanted to be married and have a day just for her, when she could feel and be the centre of attention. She craved the sense of security that being a wife would give her. Her mother had continuously told her as a child that she should settle down with a man she loved, one who would love her back.
“Start a family; give me grandchildren,” she had insisted.
In fact, Marc had loved having the year off from Rachel. He never told her that, of course, but it had been good to feel like his old self again, ‘the player’ as people used to call him. But it bothered him; if he’d enjoyed it so much, why had he gone back to Rachel after all that time and then proposed to her? If he hated even the thought of spending his entire life with her, what would the reality be like?
‘Still, maybe after a few months, everything will be okay,’ he’d thought to himself. ‘Give it a go, and then see if you feel any different.’
.
