Chapter 13
Wearing her robe and tatty slippers, Rachel was in the kitchen, cooking herself an unhealthy concoction of chunky pancakes swimming in butter and maple syrup to accompany a side dish of over-fried bacon. She always resorted to comfort eating when she felt stressed.
After she had finished her breakfast, she made some strong coffee and took it with her into the living room. Marc was still lying on the sofa, watching television now. She stood for a moment, watching him, sipping her coffee while she waited for him to speak
“Rachel, you should know… I’ll tell you everything, okay?”
She perched on the edge of an armchair, holding her mug of coffee with both hands on her knees.
Her voice was low and measured. “Go ahead.”
Marc shifted his position on the sofa and, half sitting, half lying against the cushions, faced Rachel.
“Rachel, I… I was fired from work. I got very drunk that night, that’s why I didn’t come home—”
“So where were you?”
He looked down. “I, uh… woke up the next morning lying beside this woman. I guess we must have…well she drove me home later that day.”
Her facial expression was unchanged, except for her eyes that glimmered with rage. Fighting for control, she held the tears back, unable to speak for a few moments. She put her mug down on the floor, spilling coffee on the cream-coloured carpet.
“What…” God, this was difficult; how should she approach it?
She tried again, but was anything but controlled.
“Marc, you were fired?Why didn’t you tell me sooner, and… that woman? What the hell… how come you haven’t said anything? How the fuck do you expect me to deal with this!”
“Rachel, calm down!”
“Calm down? You piece of shit…” her voice broke and she ran from the room, stifling the sobs that threatened to choke her.
Marc was unsure how to play it now. He knew in his heart that he wouldn’t be able to convince Rachel that he was a decent guy still, and that he still loved her. She definitely wouldn’t want to hear it yet. She knew nothing about the heroin, that was for another time… or he could keep it a secret, a truth that would be forever be hidden in his mind.
* * * * *
It was early afternoon before Rachel emerged again. Her first thought was to check on Jack. How could she have been so thoughtless? She looked in his room; it was unoccupied. She ran down the stairs. No one was in the living room. Where was Marc, then? She had expected to find him still lying there, waiting for more sympathy.
In the kitchen, she sighed with relief. Jack was sitting at the table drinking fruit juice and reading a comic. A plate containing half a cookie had been pushed to one side.
“Hi, Mom. I went into your room but you were still sleeping.”
Rachel pointed to the plate beside him. “Is that all you’ve eaten? Cookies? Let me get you some breakfast, you must be so hungry.”
“It’s okay Mom. Dad made me a burger—”
“He… Daddy did? Where is Daddy, do you know?”
“Sure. He’s in the garden. Don’t know why he wants to sit out there in the cold. Can I go watch the cartoons, Mom?”
“Of course you can, honey. I’ll come and watch with you later, huh?”
Jack left the table. “Okay.”
Looking through the kitchen window, she saw Marc huddled on the wooden bench in their back garden. He looked even more depressed than he had earlier. Why on earth was he sitting outside in the wind and rain with no coat on? The gales had started to ease at last, but there was still an unseasonably cold wind blowing.
She threw her thick coat on before she stepped outside. The wind bit at her harshly as she made her way up the three steps to the bench and sat down beside Marc.
“I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier, Marc. It was a shock, you know? All I want to know is…” she took a long, deep breath, “…. are you still seeing this woman?”
He looked at her, screwing his face up against the rain. His gaze travelled to the dark clouds hanging ominously above and he shivered.
“You had every right to say what you did… but I’m not seeing her, Rachel. Not again.” Those two final words rolled off his tongue so easily, but he’d meant to keep them hidden.
Rachel rounded on him, her. “Again? Was she round last night? Was she?”
Mark looked at the floor. “Yes. Okay, I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not like that at all. You see, that day when I woke up beside her, she told me she had… drugged me. Drugged me up so she could take advantage of me. I never meant for any of this to happen, Rachel… you know that, right?”
“I… but why was she here last night?”
“Well, when she was bringing me back that morning, I had more of it.”
“You what? How stupid was that?”
“Yeah, I don’t know why, but I just wanted some. Last night, I called her over to bring me some more. I know I’ve been an idiot, but I swear I hadn’t taken any of the stuff for over two weeks. And that’s it, okay? I’m not taking any more ever again.”
“I don’t know what to make of any of this, Marc. How can I trust you anymore? I mean, you’ve slept with another woman, you’ve been doing drugs… I, I gotta get out…”
She left him shivering in the cold.
