The Sparkling Charade of Las Nevadas: the Travels and Escapades of Wilbur Soot

VI

After that whole saga, not much has happened. Quackity has stopped paying attention to me. I know that he's aware that I haven't left. Why hasn't he bugged me about it yet? It's unlike him. But I guess I wouldn't know that much. I'm not obsessed with him. It's not like I know everything about him. I've never seen him naked, for one thing. But I digress.

It's back to the monotony of everyday life for me. Me and Theseus that is. Everyday, down to Paradise with no further success in sales, back to our lovely Outskirts hotel room where I scrape together some food for us (mostly burgers), then we do it all over again. There was this one time that we ran through the streets advertising. It was mostly screwing around. I gave Theseus a knife, instantly regretted giving Theseus a knife, had to stop Theseus from 'stabbin shit' with said knife. Overall we didn't make any progress, but it was, I daresay, fun.

Even after that whole ordeal, I grow increasingly impatient. 

It feels weird to come back to my documents now, but I am quite angry and I'll tell you why. I had to stop writing because, I heard the bell on the shop's door ring.

I rush to the counter and who do I see but the slime.

"Hello Wilbur Soot from Paradise Burgers!" it chirps. "Which is right here, Paradise Burgers, neat-o!"

I wonder where it learned to talk like that. Not from Quackity, that's one thing for certain.

Speaking of Quackity, I ask it, "I assume you're not here to make a purchase?"

"Nope! I prefer those shiny coins much more than human food! Quackity from Las Nevadas doesn't enjoy it so much though."

I chuckle at the thought of Quackity chasing Charlie through the resorts, trying to stop it from eating all the casino chips.

"The reason I'm here is because Quackity from Las Nevadas asked for you. I'm here to escort you. Again."

"Oh I see!" There's a bit too much enthusiasm in my voice.

I walk 'round the counter to join Charlie, who holds open the door with a slimy hand. And get this, the entire way there, it's telling me about ostriches. Ostriches, of all things. Not even just that, it's telling me the correct way to beat one! As if I'll ever come across a fucking ostrich in my life. Almost comical.

I point out to Charlie that I've never seen nor heard of any ostriches even remotely close to here. It just gives me this weirdly cryptic smile and says, "You never know."

We finally reach Quackity's little mansion, or whatever it is. But the slime stops just before the door and turns to me.

It leans in real close to my face and whispers, "Wilbur Soot from Paradise Burgers. It's a secret, but once, I walked into Quackity from Las Nevadas' office when he wasn't expecting me. He was wearing your trench coat. When he saw me, he said it smelled disgusting like you."

I laugh. "Sounds about right," I whisper back.

"But he didn't throw it away like everything else he's called disgusting. He set it on the back of his chair. And I would bet both my goopy arms that it's still there if you want to look for it."

Oh. It must think I want the coat back. I just laugh again. "Thank you Charlie."

"And I have another secret, Wilbur Soot from Paradise Burgers."