The Sparkling Charade of Las Nevadas: the Travels and Escapades of Wilbur Soot

I

I visited this lovely little ice cream sandwich shop. It's all the way on the other side of Las Nevadas from Paradise.

As I step out of the building into the cold, I can watch the street from the balcony. I almost feel... powerful.

But I'm not.

Not anymore.

I step down the ramp, which has shallow stairs carved into it. I like those little steps. They remind me of the ones that I built in Pogtopia. Anyway, I'm continuing down the street with my purchase. I'm staying out of the casinos to keep the ice cold, even though I'm quite tempted to step in. Quackity might see me and kick me out anyways.

At the same time, I don't imagine him ever being on the bottom floor where the games are kept. I always think he's on one of the high floors somewhere, his own personal building even. He's in a nice fancy room surrounded by plenty of women and plenty of men too.

I smile a little as I walk past those hotels and casinos, considering this. All of his guests are queer too, I just know it. Lesbians and gay men, bisexuals and pansexuals too! Oh and that aroace dancing the stripper pole. They're not doing it for the money, they're just having fun.

By this time I've reached the other side of the country. It's kind of a small nation. If Quackity were standing in front of me now, I'd tell him how unimpressed I am with the size of this place. I've done better, multiple times. I love the thought of him being angry at me.

The part I'm walking by is what would be considered the "hood" of this whole place. It's where my burger shop is. Me and Theseus's burger shop actually.

I pass the drug store. With the little plastic grocery bag I'm holding, it might look like I bought from there instead of the specialty shop I traveled so far to.

You can almost see where I parked the burger van, just barely hidden. But I wasn't going to the van. In the distance, I see the one casino I can enter where no one knows my face. It's on the very outskirts of Las Nevadas, marking the border if you will. As I step inside, the intoxicating smell of fresh cigarettes fills my lungs. Disgusting, yet there's something about it that I love, something that keeps me attached.

I weave between the machines, their flashing colors reflecting off the rims of my glasses. Yet another thing I love about casinos. I probably know my way around this place better than the owner himself. Ha.

Up the stairs past the cashier and the bar. A few ladies who've had too much to drink giggle and wave as I walk past. I just give them a wink, and they go crazy.

I almost burst out laughing.

They have no idea how gay I am.

Down the hallway. I love the idea that I snuck into Q's establishment, and he's none the wiser. Me and Theseus did. We're living here rent free too. It wasn't too hard to figure out which rooms were empty. The not-so-nice ones.

I step in the elevator and push the number seven. Ironically, this floor is the least fortunate of all of them, hence why it was so easy to break the lock. I like this floor. I relate to it in a sense.

The cigarette smell is more like a skunk died than the real deal. Our room doesn't smell bad though. I quietly open the door and gently shut it. The plastic from the bag makes crinkling sounds as it swings with my movements.

"Tommy?" I whisper, looking around the room.

The whole reason we're here is because Theseus got sick living in the cold van with me. I felt terrible and asked him to go back to his home, but he refused. So that's why we broke in here, where it's nice and warm.

The thing is- and I never say these things to just anybody- I might act all cold, but I really love Theseus. He's like my brother, my best friend. I used to say how depressing it was that I'm friends with a child, but it isn't. I care about him, and after a while I realized that I need to make sure he knows it. So I've been trying a lot harder since then.

In the room there are two beds. I see golden hair sticking out of the far one. He must be sleeping. I plop the bag down on the counter to my left. Theseus rolls over and opens his bright blue eyes to look at me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Mm, okay."

I hand him the bag. "Well I hope you aren't too cold, because I brought you an icy treat."

He sits up. "Ice cream?!"

"No, even better."

He peels back the corners of the plastic and gasps. His face lights up as he pulls out my gift.

But it dims when he sees the quality.

"Wil, how much did this cost?"

I flinch the tiniest bit and look down at my worn winter boots.

"How much?!"

"It wasn't a lot, Tommy, don't worry-"

"Enough that you didn't get one for yourself?"

My voice falters as I try to retort. "It was a gift for you."

Theseus opens the little container and carefully takes the cookie from the top of the sandwich. He holds it out to me.

"Tommy-"

"Take it. Please?"

I sigh and sit down with him as we eat. It's damn good, I have to admit, like Fundy's old ice cream shop. I think he actually lives here now, last I heard. Maybe he shared his recipe.

When he finishes, Theseus sets the container aside and gives me a fierce hug. "Thanks, Wil."

I grin, a pleasant feeling rising in my chest. "Of course. For you, the world."

"...then would you fuckin shower or something?"

I laugh, until I realize he's serious.

"You smell wank, Wil. Why won't you just wash?"

I hesitated. "If you want to know the truth, it's because I don't want my skin to fall off."

Dream told me on the way up that if I scrub too hard when I bathe, that my newly revived and fragile body won't be able to handle it. I've always been... concerned, since then.

Theseus starts scooting to the edge of the bed. "Well that's easy. I can help you."

"What?-No Tommy that's embarrassing-" he's already pulling me towards the bathroom. "We've finally got water- real running water- and soap, Wil. I'm not letting you pass this up." He looks up at me and gives me a smirk. "Don't you want to look nice for Big Q?"

I go silent as my face heats up- from embarrassment, mind you. This whole thing is embarrassing. Everything about this scenario is embarrassing.

Next thing I know I'm sitting in the tub with lukewarm water up to my chest. I still have my trousers on. I will never get completely naked in front of Theseus. He scrubs at my back, probably a bit too gently for how much dirt there must be. But after he's finished and I wash my hair, I'm much cleaner, almost sparkling. The brand of shampoo for the hotel has the word "revive" on it, which we think is a little amusing.

We're able to get the washing machine down the hall working (a penny fits in the quarter slot, take that Quackity) and my typical attire finally gets a wash of its own. Just like that, it's finished, with all my skin still intact.

Theseus laughs. "Now I can finally stand within ten feet of you without almost losing my lunch."