Back to December

Twenty-Five

    It was well into the afternoon, and I haven't gotten up yet. The most I'd done since last night was change out of my jeans and sweater into a pair of sweats and an oversized t-shirt that landed just at my thighs. My hair is tied up in a bun that resembles more of a birds nest than anything. My eyes sting, all dried out from crying as much as I did last night.

    Mom and dad have both paid me visits since, bringing me the breakfast this morning and hugs soon after Wyatt left last night. I'd buried my face in dad's chest, hugging him, while my mom had sat on my other side, her hand rubbing comforting circles on my back.

    Neither pushed me to talk or pried. They just sat there with me, mumbling words of comfort. Until my tears eventually dried up. I felt like a little kid. Mom sat at the edge of my bed, kissing my forehead goodnight before exiting my room. I've avoided boys in high school and throughout most of my adult life for this very reason. I've only ever felt heartbreak like this one another time, and this time, I wasn't just mourning a friendship. I was mourning over all the what-ifs I'd been planning out in my head.

    "Marles," Harper's voice called out, her fist gently knocking against my door. She enters slowly, peeking into my room. She'd come to my room as soon as she got home last night, but neither of us talked. I was in no mood to last night. My thoughts were running at a mile a minute, my heart racing just as fast. Now, I sat on my bed, a journal I'd found on my bookshelf open in front of me. I've spent the morning writing down everything I'm feeling, needing to get it out somehow. My handwriting is sloppy and sprawled across the paper in a rushed matter. I can barely make out the words now. "James and Lizzie picked up some food. Figured you might be hungry?"

    I was starving, but I don't want to go downstairs and have to face everyone. Despite Wyatt leaving, Nikki stayed. I don't want her to feel like me being heartbroken over her son is her fault in any way. At the end of the day, Wyatt's an adult who makes his own decisions. His mom has no control over them.

    Lizzie calls from downstairs, "Everyone else is out," She reassures, "Mom, dad and Nikki took Skye to the movies. It's just us."

     "And, we a strawberry milkshake, extra whipped cream with your name on it." James sings, I can smell the food from up here. It smells greasy and salty. I don't have to ask what it is. We all know one another well enough to know what each other's comfort foods were.

    I kick my legs over the edge of my bed, standing up. This earns a smile from Harper, who walks ahead of me, leading the way down the stairs. "Aw, honey," Lizzie pouts, seeing me. I can't blame her. I feel terrible. I probably look it too. Each of them held a twin, who babbled, excited to see me. On a normal day, I'd greet the two excitedly, taking one of them from their parents arms.

    "Is that what I think it is?" I mumble, nodding towards the brown paper bag in Liz's hands. The familiar arches of the McDonalds logo is printed on it.

"Extra-large fry, four-piece nugget," She nods, passing me the bag.

    "You're amazing," I tell both her and James, walking past them into the kitchen. We all take seats around the breakfast table, pulling out food from the bags. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I saw all the food in front of me.

    It doesn't take long for me to break down the events of last night in full detail. I start by telling them about the conversation between Wyatt and me in Lizzie's old room, the night I discovered that the way I felt towards Wyatt was more than just friends. The night I realized I'd fallen for him. I then told them about our car ride and the detour we took on the way home. I tell them every word he said to me, trying not to think too hard about the way he looked so sincere.