greys anatomy

my first paitent death

The paitent comes in with horrible chest pains. Hes coding i yell. SOMEONE GET A CRASH CART!! i yell really loudly. We got him hes stable. We have too take him too surgery right away i say. the paitents parents say please dont let him die please dont take him away they say. I say we will do everything we can. In surgery he codes and soon later his heart stops. I run out of the O.R. crying and slam the storage door behind me. Amilia shepard my girlfriend comes in. Hey br- oh no your crying are you okay what happend? i lost my paitient i tell her. She says awww dont cry its okay i understand what its like. Its horrible the first time but then the pain gets less and less. She gives me a hug and i hide my face in her shoulder as i cry. Its okay breathe in your nose out your mouth. Im here i got you she says. Shes asks if i wanna go home too cry and scream all i want and so we do. Im having a panic attack, Amilia Shepard says hey hey hey its okay breathe, IN your nose out your mount, and so i do i get calmer, there you go she says I ask can we cuddle and she says yes. And soons later i fell asleep in her arms. She just strokes my hair.

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