the Batman: Crimson Clown

Antarctic anarchy: part 1

"Log 1" Dick spoke into a recording device, "after Batman had declared his intentions to make the impostor his new sidekick, I had to rebrand. now I am no longer Robin. I am now..."

"Young master Dick" Alfred said from the door frame holding a new suit, "you're new 'Red Hood' costume is ready."

"Thanks Alfred. Can you help me get the suit on?"

"aren't you getting a little old to have help with your super suit? would you like a cookie young master Dick?"

"Aren't I a little old for cookies? Wait Alfred, just leave it on my nightstand! Alfred don't walk away!"

two minutes later, Robin- sorry- Red Hood was down in the Batcave, brooding as he called it. unfortunately for him, the whole effect was ruined due to the fact his pants were on backward. as was pointed out by his 'impostor'

"Pants are on backward." Crimson said, "and your cape is crooked."

"whatever" Red Hood snarled, "I guess you're not the only one who can wear red, huh?"

"he's not the clown." Batman said looking at the Bat-computer.

"What?"

"He has a multiple personality disorder. it makes it so that at certain times he'll be like how we've seen him before, and others,"

"More sophisticated." Crimson said, "and sane. you can call me Ala-AAAAH!"

"And he gets headaches whenever he tries to say his name. as if he has a mind block of some sort. It's something I'll look into later. right now, we have bigger problem."

"Penguin and Mr. Freeze." Batgirl said pulling into the Batcave, "they're causing chaos around Gotham. let's go!"

"No way!" Alan said crossing his arms "my dad will freak when he sees me in this ridiculous suit fighting the most dangerous villa-AAAAAAAAH!"

"what's up with him?" Batgirl whispered to Red Hood.

"he has a split personality or something." Red hood whispered back, "as if he needed to be any weirder."

"what's up with you?"

"I've moved on to bigger things."

"okay"

"let's go lovebirds!" Crimson Clown exclaimed, "don't got much time to beat these arctic anarchists!"

"I'm not a bird!" Red Hood snapped "I'm a vigilante filled with anger at the ruthless criminals of Gotham."

the other three stared at Red Hood wondering what was up with him. Batman slowly walked over to the Batmobile, Batgirl to her Bat cycle, but Crimson just stared at him.

"what?" Red hood snarled

"I wear red better."

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"Mr. Freeze and Penguin have been running around Gotham grabbing diamonds and freezing everything in their way." Batgirl reported, "the usual spiel until they took some cops hostage. including the commissioner."

"What happened?" Batman asked checking the GPS

"I was on my regular patrol when I saw bright lights at the police station." she replied "by the time I got there the station was mainly covered in ice, most of the officers were a little wounded but before I could do anything, I saw more lights and heard some gun shots. when I got there, I saw penguin reaching for a doorknob to the Gordon kid's room, and Freeze was holding the Commissioner's hostage among others tied up."

"What about the bad guys?"

"They ran off before they could get in, but they took the hostages with them."

"and Barbara?" Red Hood asked, switching from the brooding teenager to a concerned crush in two seconds flat.

"oh uh... I got to her. she decided to stick around 'til her dad got back."

"oh. good."

Crimson stares into blank space for a couple of seconds. then he leans forward to speak to Batman privately.

"you're bullshitting me, right?" he asked, "they do know who each other are? Bats. you did tell them. right?"

"They can decide that." Batman replied.

"Seriously? no other reason?"

"it's also a little cute."

"That's got to be the funniest joke ever."

"WHAT?" Red Hood yelled into the bat mobile window, "YOU CUT THE COMMS!"

"Comms on." Batman said flicking on a switch, "what is it."

"you guys are saying something." Batgirl replied, "we were wondering what. anyway, we worked out a plan against Penguin and Freeze."